A Quote by Henny Youngman

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"

Henny Youngman

Quote Topics

Another Dial Drunk Goes Huh Lost Meter Parking Pounds Puts Quarter Says Up

Quote Author

Henny Youngman
American - Comedian
March 16, 1906 - February 24, 1998

I'm a loving drunk. I get sentimental. "I love you guys." I drunk-dial a lot.

Kenny Chesney

This church was open and seemingly unattended, and it was a throwback in another way as well. The candles in the little side altars were real ones, actual wax candles that burned with an open flame. Lots of churches have switched over to electrified altars. You drop your quarter in the slot and a flame-shaped bulb goes on and stays on for your quarter's worth of time. It's like a parking meter, and if you stay too long they tow away your soul.

Lawrence Block

Playing a drunk doesn't mean being a drunk, only bad actors try to be drunk. A real drunk tries to be sober, he wants another drink. How a character hides their feelings tells us who they are, no one shows their feelings except bad actors.

Martin Landau

I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."

Mike Birbiglia

Never Forget what someone says to you when they are drunk. Because Drunk words are Sober Thoughts

Wiz Khalifa

This is just the way it goes: there's always a cycle with music - it goes up and it goes down, it goes risque and it goes back, it goes loud then it goes soft, then it goes rock and it goes pop.

Suzi Quatro

I was walking downtown and the drunk tank stopped and picked me up... I was like, 'Wait a minute here fellas, there's a misunderstanding. I'm not drunk. I have cerebral palsy.' They were like, 'That's a pretty big word for a drunk.'

Josh Blue

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

Henny Youngman

Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.

Guy Davenport

I had to be naked [in Vinyl], but I was almost more nervous about having to be drunk. The director wasn't going to yell, "Too big!," during the nude scene. For the drunk scene, you can be bad drunk or good drunk. We'll see. My wife was not happy, hearing about it.

Ray Romano

Don't think I'm talking nonsense because I'm drunk. I'm not a bit drunk. Brandy's all very well, but I need two bottles to make me drunk.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Lessee...he'd gone off after the funeral and gotten drunk. No, not drunk, another word, ended with "er." Drunker. that was it.

Terry Pratchett

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it-it's the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk. But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

Charles Baudelaire

There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and is being completely inappropriate. Or the super-loud, happy drunk, which is evidentially what I am.