A Quote by Henny Youngman

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

Henny Youngman

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Car Comfortable Good Good Living He Man Hit Jewish Living Make Man Says

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Henny Youngman
American - Comedian
March 16, 1906 - February 24, 1998

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

Milton Berle

All views can't be true because all views are opposite; this is the logical aspect. For example, Islam says we are good in nature; Christianity says we are born in sin. Islam says God is a man; Christianity says He is more than a man, He is God. All truths can't be the same.

Norman Geisler

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."

Tommy Cooper

Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.

Alan Moore

A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.

Henny Youngman

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

Henny Youngman

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."

Frank Carson

Who says, who says you're not perfect? Who says you're not worth it? Who says you're the only one that's hurting? Trust me, that's the price of beauty, who says you're not pretty? Who says you're not beautiful?... Who says?

Selena

A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."

Frank Carson

A man who says that men are machines may be a great scientist. A man who says he is a machine is 'depersonalized' in psychiatric jargon.

R. D. Laing

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

Henny Youngman

The man who says, 'my country right or wrong' is like the man who says, 'my mother drunk or sober'

Gilbert K. Chesterton

I hate a man who always says yes to me. When I say no I like a man who also says no.

Samuel Goldwyn

I hate a man who always says 'yes' to me. When I say 'no' I like a man who also says 'no.'

Samuel Goldwyn

A man says something. Sometimes it turns out to be the truth, but this has nothing to do with the man who says it.

Karen Joy Fowler

The glory of God is the living man, but the life of man is the vision of God', says St. Irenaeus, getting to the heart of what happens when man meets God on the mountain in the wilderness. Ultimately, it is the very life of man, man himself as living righteously, that is the true worship of God, but life only becomes real life when it receives its form from looking toward God.

Pope Benedict XVI

A Quote by Henny Youngman

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