A Quote by Henny Youngman

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

Henny Youngman

Quote Topics

Commit Could If I Could Killing Killing Myself Myself Suicide Without

Quote Author

Henny Youngman
American - Comedian
March 16, 1906 - February 24, 1998

They all think any minute I'm going to commit suicide. What a joke. The truth of course is the exact opposite: suicide is the only thing that keeps me alive. Whenever everything else fails, all I have to do is consider suicide and in two seconds I'm as cheerful as a nitwit. But if I could not kill myself -- ah then, I would. I can do without nembutal or murder mysteries but not without suicide.

Walker Percy

I thought of killing myself but soon decided that I could always try MIT and then kill myself later if it was that bad but that I couldn't commit suicide and then try MIT afterwards. The two operations, suicide and going to MIT, don't commute.

Murray Gell-Mann

If I commit suicide, it will not be to destroy myself, but to put myself back together again. Suicide will be for me only one means of violently reconquering myself, of brutally invading my being, of anticipating the unpredictable approaches of God. By suicide, I reintroduce my design in nature, I shall for the first time give things the shape of my will.

Antonin Artaud

Nothing in my life has ever made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to my trying to commit suicide.

Emilie Autumn

If I commit suicide, it will not be to destroy myself but to put myself back together again.

Antonin Artaud

The absurd man will not commit suicide; he wants to live, without relinquishing any of his certainty, without a future, without hope, without illusions … and without resignation either. He stares at death with passionate attention and this fascination liberates him. He experiences the “divine irresponsibility” of the condemned man.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Every time I deny myself I commit a kind of suicide.

Susan Griffin

I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.

Jack Kerouac

I will rather kill myself than commit suicide.

Patience Jonathan

Visualize yourself confronted with the task of killing, one after the other, a cabbage, a fly, a fish, a lizard, a guinea pig, a cat, a dog, a monkey and a baby chimpanzee. In the unlikely case that you should experience no greater inhibitions in killing the chimpanzee than in destroying the cabbage or the fly, my advice to you is to commit suicide at your earliest possible convenience, because you are a weird monstrosity and a public danger.

Konrad Lorenz

I love you," Jake whispered. "Are you strong enough for this?" I made myself comfortable. Said over my shoulder, "Sure." "Would you tell me if you weren't?" I grinned. "Maybe. I can't think of a nicer way to commit suicide." "That's good. I can't think of a more pleasant way to commit murder.

Josh Lanyon

They [US soldiers] started to commit suicide on the Baghdad walls. We will encourage them to double their suicide attempts.

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

I tried to commit suicide one day. It was a very Woody Allen-type suicide. I turned on the gas and left all the windows open.

Elton John

I saw a study the other day showing that some atypical anti-psychotic was at least as good as mood stabilizers in preventing suicide. It's a very good thing to decrease suicide but we should care at least a little if I'm not killing myself because I feel better or if I just can't remember where I put the damn gun.