A Quote by Henny Youngman

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife. — © Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome to my world.
At a wedding last week, my wife said: 'Isn't the bride beautiful ?' When I responded by saying, 'Yeah, but her blowjobs aren't half as good as yours', she got all pissed off. Women - they can't take a compliment!
As soon as a person takes a part as a homosexual, the press says, "What do your wife and children think of this?" And the actor never says, "Well, last week I was a murderer, and the week before that I was a child molester, and the week before that I was a lunatic. But now I'm a homosexual."
The torches ran off, and I found myself in a forest, at night, without any light, on skis, and that was not fun - particularly because I was drunk. Luckily at some point I started to see the light of the ski lift. To be in the forest in the middle of the night, it's terrible.
Luck? Good luck? GM, the last time I checked, luck is for losers.
He's sort of caught everybody on the hot, really, and good luck to him. He tried it last week as an experiment and it certainly worked.
Running is not, as it so often seems, only about what you did in your last race or about how many miles you ran last week. It is, in a much more important way, about community, about appreciating all the miles run by other runners, too.
Frugality is good if liberality be joined with it. The first is leaving off superfluous expenses; the last is bestowing them to the benefit of others that need. The first without the last begets covetousness; the last without the first begets prodigality.
Every winter my wife and I take a week off and go to a resort in Florida.
Once a week i have to do my radio show, 'A State of Trance', usually on Wednesday night. I try to go running at least three times a week and spend at least a day without turning my laptop on and spend it with my wife and daughter.
You must master the habit of procrastination and eliminate it from your wake-up. This habit of putting off until tomorrow that which you should have done last week or last year or a score of years ago is gnawing at the very vitals of your being and you can accomplish nothing until you throw it off.
I don't want to go home and tell my wife and my girls, 'I was gone last week because I had to do a press release.'
Pat Fox out to the forty(yard line) and grabs the sliothar(ball), I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide......and the dog lost as well.
I like working. But now I have a deal with my wife that I take a half-day off each week.
I ran away. I kept running away. Almost once a week, I'd run away from those schools. They'd catch me. They'd bring me back to the school, beat me. And it was - it was terrible.
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