A Quote by Henry Cloud

When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.

Henry Cloud

Quote Topics

Been Begin Both Boundaries Dealing Difficult Disorganization Enabling Feel Financial Happens Hard Hard Thing Helpful Hole Hurt Hurting Irresponsibility Irresponsible Limit Loss Love May Necessary Nudge People Plug Really Remember Responsibility Set Setting Someone Them Thing Toward Up Used Watch Whatever Will Your

Quote Author

Henry Cloud
American - Psychologist
Born: 1956

When people show you their boundaries ("I can't do this for you") you feel rejected...part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect and even be grateful for the boundaries of others.

Henri Nouwen

We must feel toward our people as a father toward his children; yea, the most tender love of a mother must not surpass ours. We must even travail in birth, till Christ be formed in them. They should see that we care for no outward thing, neither liberty, nor honor, nor life, in comparison to their salvation... When the people see that you truly love them, they will hear anything from you...Oh therefore, see that you feel a tender love for your people in your hearts, and let them perceive it in your speech and conduct. Let them see that you spend and are spent for their sakes.

Richard Baxter

If we wait for some people to become agreeable or attractive before we begin to love them, we will never begin. If we are content to give them a cold impersonal 'charity' that is merely a matter of obligation, we will not trouble to understand them or to sympathize with them at all. And in that case we will not really love them, because love implies an efficacious will not only to do good to others exteriorly but also to find some good in them to which we can respond."

Thomas Merton

You can go in and out of love and still love somebody, you know? You may not like them so much on the day, but I can tell you that I don't think I've ever been so vulnerable or been so angry in my life - like, those two emotions feel so hurt or so enraged - as when you're dealing with your kids.

Pamela Adlon

To rescue our children we will have to let them save us from the power we embody: we will have to trust the very difference that they forever personify. And we will have to allow them the choice, without fear of death: that they may come and do likewise or that they may come and that we will follow them, that a little child will lead us back to the child we will always be, vulnerable and wanting and hurting for love and for beauty.

June Jordan

Will I switch to E-reading? I won't, mainly because I love the look and feel of books - particularly hardbacks. I love them enough to put up with the minor hassles of lugging them around and maneuvering them in my lap and having to set them aside while I eat my cheeseburger.

Mary Roach

I remember, when I was a teenager, people telling me, 'You know, when you are a mother, you will never feel lonely. You will feel so much love, and you will be fulfilled by this love.' Then I became a mother. And I learnt that is absolutely wrong: you can feel very lonely with your children, even if you love them.

Leila Slimani

I feel like there are instances and circumstances in your life that always change. You can think someone's your friend, and it could be out of convenience, or there was something in it for them, or whatever. And a year later, something happens and you really need help, or all of a sudden they have to stand up for you, and it could be inconvenient for them or not benefit them. And they don't have your back. And you're like, "Ok, that friendship was circumstantial. You were only my friend when it was easy." What's hard is you can't tell from the beginning.

Camila Cabello

The problem with taking venture capital is if you take $5m from someone, it may feel great; you may feel like they're validating your business model. But they're giving $5m out to 20 different people, hoping one of them will be a hit. They don't really care if it's you.

Jon Oringer

If you want to liberate someone, love them.Not be in love with them - that's dangerous. If you're in love with your children, you're in their lives all the time. Leave them alone! Let them grow and make some mistakes. Tell them, "You can come home. My arms are here - and my mouth is too." When you really love them, you don't want to possess them. You don't say, "I love you and I want you here with me."

Maya Angelou

People with the best intentions will often give you advice on why you shouldn’t take a risk because of what could happen. While some of what they say may be true, you should never allow them to get their negative anchors into your mind because, like them, you too will begin to sink. Next time this happens, throw them a life-line, and ask them what is good about their situation.

Bob Proctor

If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.

Henry Cloud

Usually, what happens with women that aren't comfortable with fighting is they're afraid of getting hurt, or hurting someone. All it usually takes to get them going is to make them feel safe, and make them feel like they look cool while doing it. And once they get a little more comfortable, they're gung ho!

Zoe Bell

So don't stop moving forward. For a while, you may feel as though you're taking two steps forward, one step back. And there may be some personal heartache along the way. But when you look your little ones in the eye, you will find your voice and take a stand for them. We are their voices. And we must have the courage to stand up for them, whatever the odds or however powerful the opposition might be.

Robyn

Love all men, even your enemies; love them, not because they are your brothers, but that they may become your brothers. Thus you will ever burn with fraternal love, both for him who is already your brother and for your enemy, that he may by loving become your brother.

Saint Augustine

Remember, loving them is the powerful foundation for influencing those you want to help. ... As a companion to that love, trust them. In some cases it may seem difficult to trust, but find some way to trust them. The children of Father in Heaven can do amazing things when they feel trusted. Every child of God in mortality chose the Savior’s plan. Trust that given the opportunity, they will do so again.

Richard G. Scott

A Quote by Henry Cloud

Quote Topics

Quote Author

Related Quotes

Related Authors