Whoever invented God is an idiot. God is absolutely man's worst invention.
Whoever invented the spork should be killed.
Why couldn't the merciful God turn down the sunlight so it wasn't blasting like a red furnace against his aching eyes? Because he'd worshipped the god of beer, thats why. He'd broken a commandment and worshipped the false and foamy god of beer. And now he was being punished.
Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice!
God bless whoever invented football. It was the English, I think. And what a fantastic idea it was
O Blessed Mary, whoever loves you honors God; whoever serves you pleases God; whoever invokes your holy name with a pure heart will infallibly receive the object of his petition.
Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.
In Europe, it's different - you eat soccer, you breathe soccer, you drink soccer. Everything is about soccer.
God, the devil, good, evil, it's all in our heads, not in Heaven or Hell, which we also invented. We do not realize that, having invented God, we immediately became His slaves.
Whoever pays should control; whoever pays should sanction. I agree. But budgetary union should be completed by a partial mutualisation of debts through eurobonds.
Who among us will celebrate Christmas correctly? Whoever finally lays down all power, l honor, all reputation, all vanity, all arrogance, all individualism beside the manger; whoever remains lowly and lets God alone be high; whoever looks at the child in the manger and sees the glory of God precisely in his lowliness.
Soccer was invented by man but perfected by women.
I once saw professional soccer up there in Seattle, the Sounders. I went and saw that. I'm not a big soccer fan, but watching a live game is unbelievable. And then I went to Italy and saw a soccer match; it's something everyone should do once. It'll blow your mind.
Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That's how it should be. Anything invented between your th and th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited.
I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.
We invented marriage. Couples invented marriage. We also invented divorce,mind you. And we invented infidelity,too, as well as romantic misery. In fact we invented the whole sloppy mess of love and intimacy and aversion and euphoria and failure. But most importantly of all, most subversively of all, most stubbornly of all, we invented privacy.