A Quote by India Arie
I always felt like - I mean, I was told, really - I couldn't go too far with the productions because it didn't appeal to black radio. It wasn't until I decided I was going to do what I wanted to do or I was going to quit that I empowered myself. I took my power back.
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My mom had always wanted me to better myself. I wanted to better myself because of her. Now when the strikes started, I told her I was going to join the union and the whole movement. I told her I was going to work without pay. She said she was proud of me. (His eyes glisten. A long, long pause.) See, I told her I wanted to be with my people. If I were a company man, nobody would like me anymore. I had to belong to somebody and this was it right here.
I kinda went back to that period between '88 and '94 where I felt like I was the most creative, without being hindered by powers that be. I was no longer going to try to hinder myself to what I thought was going to be on the radio.
We knew from the beginning the level of commitment needed. We felt honored to work with Stanley Kubrick. We were going to do what it took to do this picture, whatever time, because I felt - and Nic [Nicole Kidman] did, too - that this was going to be a really special time for us. We knew it would be difficult. But I would have absolutely kicked myself if I hadn`t done this.
Until the '90s, major labels were looking for a certain look. This Sony guy told me I was 'too black, too fat, too short, and too old.' Told me to go and bleach my skin. Told me to step in the background and just stay back. I had the voice, but I didn't have the looks.
I had to work out where I was going, what type of films I wanted to make. For that reason, I decided to choose independent productions, less important roles, and I tried theater, too.
I've always known I wanted to go into acting, but being a very proud teenager, I wasn't ready to admit it until I felt like it was going to be possible.
I really struggled with what I was going to do with fantasy suites, but I didn't really want to think too much about it until we got there. I had a lot of other things on my mind at that point... but really that was just a personal decision between me and whoever I decided to go into the fantasy suite with or decided not to.
There was a bit of a readjustment period because I didn't know what it was going to be like. I didn't know what was happening, how it was going to be, how it was all going to feel. As time went on it was great. Everything felt good so we decided to go with it.
I don't think I've ever let myself go in public - I don't even know what it would mean. I mean, I let myself go on horseback by really galloping until, you know, I think I'm going to die.
I wanted to represent a different decade, and I wanted someone who goes back further than me. I go back the furthest on this thing, I never really noticed that before. I'm going to have to fix that or I'm going to look really old.
We was just young guys who wanted to change. We got tired of doin' this same everyday bullshit that we was doin', and we all felt like we had dreams o' bein' a big star. You know, as far as with myself, I never really took it that serious as bein' a star. I only took it that serious as bein' a emcee, which is two different things. You know what I mean?
I wrote Her First American and I always say it took me eighteen years. It took me that long was because after about five years I stopped and wrote Lucinella. I got stuck; it was too hard to write. Lucinella felt like a lark. I wanted to write about the literary circle because it amused me, and I allowed myself to do what I wanted to do. It's just one of the things I'm allowed to do if I feel like it.
I actually hated dancing. My mum used to have to bribe me to go by buying me things. A year before I stopped going, I was going to go for an audition with the Royal Ballet. It turned out I was a year too young. Because I was tall, they thought I was older. But before I had the chance to go back, I quit.
I felt like everyone was shitting on me, like, "She didn't get that deal with Interscope. She got dropped! She won't get another project!" making it so much worse then any of it really was. I felt like they wanted me to fail and I thought, I'm not going to go anywhere. I'm going to get my glory. I'm going to get my shine.
I decided to go to the night, myself, and started to go out to the fields, where I would encounter things that I cannot see very well, that I cannot detect very well, and to put myself in a position where I'm going to be suspected as a being entering a territory of other beings, and I'm also going to suspect them. I have to be very alert, and they are going to be very alert - this kind of position I felt was very much what is going on in the world for me.
With this job, always traveling on the plane and everything, I thought it would be really difficult to quit drinking on my own because you're always in situations where it's acceptable to have drinks. So I decided right after a show that I was going to go into treatment. I Googled a bunch of places, and I found this place that I went to in Cape Town, South Africa, called Stepping Stones. I stayed there for a month. It was really difficult-lots of talking and crying.
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