A Quote by Ivan Moody
I just got to a point where I was lying to myself constantly, so I had to face up to that. It was a lot of... I don't want to use the words 'self sacrifice,' but that's what it felt like. It was giving up who I thought I was and starting over from scratch and realizing the man that I am was good enough.
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You see I thought love got easier over the years so it didn't hurt so bad when it hurt, or feel so good when it felt good. I thought it smoothed out and old people hardly noticed it. I thought it curled up and died, I guess. Now I saw it rear up like a whip and lash.
I was always interested in music, I felt it was time to do it, coming out of the punk scene [1979]. I thought it was ideal that anyone could just put together a group and make it work. Then, of course, it became a little more detailed after starting it and realizing that it was something serious, not just a one-off situation. I had to put a lot more into it. Also I did it to get a lot of things out of my system, things that had been put there while I was growing up in my family. A sort of exorcizing of demons.
We never get any gratitude for what we do. We just are constantly ripped. We are constantly complained about. We are constantly attacked. And people are fed up with it. People are fed up being told they haven't done enough, that they don't do enough, that they don't care enough, that they're mean-spirited, that they're extremists, when this is the most loving and charitable, the most giving country the world has ever seen.
All of a sudden one day I was like, I'm good at this! Oh, man! People are not giving me jobs because they feel sorry for me! I am an actress. I am a singer. I am a performer. That's what I do! Once I started giving myself a little credit, the whole world opened up.
When you have to face up to the fact that marriage to the man you love is really over, that's very tough, sheer agony. In that kind of harrowing situation, I always go away and cut myself off from the world. Also, I sober up immediately when there is genuine bad news in my life; I never face it with alcohol in my brain. I just rented a house in Palm Springs and sat there and just suffered for a couple of weeks. I suffered there until I was strong enough to face it.
I don't want to be skinny. I'm constantly in a state of self-improvement but I don't beat myself up over it.
Sometimes in love it just gets to the point where I have to give up. I have to give up trying and I have to give up believing because I know things won't change. To me, giving up isn't being weak. Giving up is being strong enough to let go.
There was a while when I got really bad stage fright and I basically felt...I was incredibly angry. I felt like everything had been taken away from me and it was at that point that I realized how much doing stand up reminds me of my self love and curiosity about myself and love of other people because I don't go on stage to dominate.
Most of my life is just spent lying in bed. I mean, it's enough pressure to write the words. Do I need to use the additional energy exerted by sitting up?
I had to get over [him]. For months now, a stone had been sitting on my heart. I'd shed a lot of tears over [him], lost a lot of sleep, eaten a lot of cake batter. Somehow, I had to move on. [Life] would be hell if I didn't shake loose from the grip he had on my heart. I most definitely didn't want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. Even if he'd felt like The One. Even if I'd always thought we'd end up together. Even if he still had a choke chain on my heart.
To all you men out there who want to use turning the other cheek as an excuse for your weakness... man up! Develop yourself to the point that you are powerful enough to face any conflict in your life head on and without trouble. Then, use your newfound confidence to avoid the conflict.
The word "surrender" is often interpreted as giving up, as weakness, as admitting defeat. Although this is one way to use the word, we will use it in a different way. Surrendering means letting go of your resistance to the total openness of who you are. It means giving up the tension of the little vortex you believe yourself to be and realizing the deep power of the ocean you truly are. It means to open with no boundaries, emotional or physical, so you ease wide beyond any limiting sense of self you might have.
I always thought I'd end up at a small school and have to play my way up to what I thought I could be. But no, I've always had confidence in myself. That was never a thing. It was just whether or not colleges or coaches felt that way about myself.
The person on the shrine is myself. I listen to my own music constantly. I made a whole other record already. I look at myself on the internet constantly, so much so that I actually physically hate my face. It's like I've become apart from myself. I can't even live up to myself.
Growing up, my uncle used to always have dogs, and we always had a dog growing up. I couldn't remember a time when I never had a dog. It was part of the family. So once I actually got old enough, I got a dog in college, then I felt he needed a friend, so I got another dog. They just started adding up from there.
Towards the end of my career, I had a lot of wear and tear, a lot of arthritis that was building up. Being 300 pounds for over 15 years was starting to take its toll. I was constantly on all sorts of anti-inflammatories and medicines to deal with the pain.
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