A Quote by Jack Black

I remember I prayed to God. I was like, "Just let me be on TV." Let my friends see me on TV in a good thing. I like, if I'm funny a little bit on a commercial and then I don't need to act ever again. "Just let them see me." And then it worked. I got the commercial. I was on TV. My friends all saw me. I was a kind of a star at school for like three days. And then it faded away and I was hungry and I had to like make another deal with God. I remember it still.
The very first job I did, a Barbie commercial when I was eight or nine, that was like 'Oh my God.' Because when you're watching things on TV, you think it's like a fantasy. But then to actually do it and then see yourself, it's like 'Oh my God.'
It does get frustrating having the cameras on you all the time, because if you make mistakes, then the whole world knows about it. Like, it's not just your family and friends, it's everyone. Sometimes I'll watch myself on TV and ask myself, What am I doing, I am the biggest geek. My friends will call me and say, "OMG. Have you seen that commercial of you, you look like such a nerd."
I wanted to move between film and theater - I never felt like I fit into TV. And I'm very anti-TV, like, 'I'm never going to do TV,' but also, TV didn't want me either, so it was kind of perfect. And then, of course, cable happened, and suddenly it was like, 'Oh, I could do that kind of stuff.'
The day that I saw Whoopi Goldberg on television, I cried so hard because I kept looking at my daddy going, 'Oh my God. There's somebody on TV that looks like me! She looks like me! Yay! I can be on TV! I can be on TV! I can do it! Look at her - look at her! She looks just like me.'
One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.
My son was staying with me, and we got up to watch it, just before they announced supporting actress, he came up and put his arm around me. I think it was like, 'Either way, mom, I still love you.' But then it was funny because I saw it. I saw my picture, and I heard them announce it, but I had to ask him, 'Did I really see that?' I wasn't sure I was seeing it, but he assured me that yes, I was nominated for the Academy Award. We just sort of cried a little bit.
I remember thinking all TV was black and white, but that was because we had a really old, broken TV. And then I went to a friend's house and I was like, woah, your TV is like, crazy! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That was my first show.
I got hit up for a tampon commercial and so I asked [JD and Jo] if they had anything. Jo sent that over and I was like, "I love this track. Oh my god. It's so upbeat. It's so positive. It would be so great for a tampon commercial." That commercial never came through, so then I just had it. I was like, "That would be great for a Hillary [Clinton] song." I think it's so funny that it could be a tampon commercial.
My parents preached so much about Christianity and my mother thinks Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to the world - which he is - and God found a way of making examples for me. Like, just growing up, bullets would hit my partner but not me and I'd be right there. Or my Dad had a thing where he would make me play for the sorry team during football and make me go up against all my friends. It built a certain kind of character and a humble factor into me because I knew I had to work for it. And then to be able to beat them or be just as successful at so many things.
I was like, 'I'm only going to do musical theater for the rest of my life. I'm never going to do TV.' And whenever I'd get auditions for TV, I'd be like, 'Okay, whatever. I've got a lisp, so they're not going to take me.' And then I started doing this, and I guess it was my sister that got me into the acting thing.
I just didn't see anyone on TV who looked like me, and then I saw George Takei being cool and piloting the spaceship on television.
Whenever there's a red carpet event coming up my trainer in LA that I see, I always come to her like three days before and go, 'Can you make me really thin in three days?' She's always like, 'If you come to me consistently all throughout the year, then yes I can. When you come to me with three days and ask to lose 10 pounds it's just not going to happen.' I'm like, 'Do your best. Please. Make me skinny.'
What I do brings me a lot of money and it puts me on TV so people may look at me like a star but to me, if you're good (at what you do) and keep on improving, then that's what makes you a star in your own way.
One of the things I used to dream of is that if I could just be funny like Red Skelton, if I could be a comedian like Red Skelton - that's what I watched on TV - then maybe I would have friends. I just remember that if I told stories to my friends, they listened. And in my family, with nine people talking at the same time, it's really hard to get people to listen to you. We were all craving attention.
The way I see it is, you can be a character on a TV show for years, then the TV show gets cancelled and your favorite actress or favorite comedian, you don't see them for a little while and then you see them back doing something else. You can still be enjoying them performing on TV.
The British model, which I've always thought was great, is that you do a TV show and then they sell it. Then you can buy it at the video stores forever, so it never went away. But American TV used to be if you had a show and it got cancelled, then it never existed. It was just this thing you heard about and you couldn't see it again. There is something so great about shows getting released and people getting to watch them over and over again. It definitely takes the sting out of it.
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