A Quote by Jackie Mason

They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher. I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way. I used to watch a game, see the players in a huddle - and think they were talking about me.

Jackie Mason

Quote Topics

About Anymore Bash Better Call Carried Eventually Field Football Game Guy Hard Me Object Off Other Players Psychiatrist Said See Talking Talking About Me Think Used Watch Way Were

Quote Author

Jackie Mason
American - Comedian
Born: June 9, 1931

I think people tune in to watch a football game because they want to watch a football game. If they wanted to watch a stand-up comedy show on HBO, that's where they'd go

Dan Dierdorf

With TV, it's the same way as preparing for the game of football. To get better at football, you have to watch the film and watch those who came before you and played the game, and yes, the first year you come in as a rookie and you're not gonna be as good as when you come in as a vet, and I applied that in the same way to 'Ton of Cash.'

Dhani Jones

I don't like comparisons with football. Baseball is an entirely different game. You can watch a tight, well-played football game,but it isn't exciting if half the stadium is empty. The violence on the field must bounce off a lot of people. But you can go to a ball park on a quiet Tuesday afternoon with only a few thousand people in the place and thoroughly enjoy a one-sided game. Baseball has an aesthetic, intellectual appeal found in no other team sport.

Bowie Kuhn

There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

Alfred Hitchcock

If you were in a game of football always think you need maybe eight to win the game. Three can on an off day or semi off day but you always hard. And the players recognize that and they'll do that extra to make sure they get winning. The essence of the team is to understand and trust each other and to trust me.

Alex Ferguson

I don't love football the way I once loved the game. I don't look at it as fun anymore, and it definitely used to be fun. A lot of the fun has been taken away from it, I guess, because you go through so much on the field and off the field.

Eric Dickerson

I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.

Jackie Mason

If you were ever to interview me after a football game or at a football game or around me during football season is totally different than when you catch me away from football.

Keyshawn Johnson

A lot of sprinters aren't football players. I'm a football player. That's the difference between me and a sprinter. My knowledge of the game. I'm totally different than any other track guy.

Marquise Goodwin

I'm not one of those players who always gets to games or watches every game on TV. If a game is on and I'm free, I'll watch it but I won't make my schedule around a football match.

Adebayo Akinfenwa

We think wireless is going to grow tremendously. Do I think people are going to watch an episode of 'Survivor' on a 2-inch television set? I doubt it. But I do think somebody's going to go to a grocery store in the middle of a football game and watch that game.

Leslie Moonves

Not to be narcissistic, but I truly believe in order to make yourself better, you should see what you did before and what was good about that and what wasn't - same way a football team plays a game and then they go back and watch film.

Jake Owen

I don't play golf competitively. I tell everybody that I cheat so they won't gamble with me. That's why you can't watch football. Everybody's gambling. They don't want to watch the game; they watch the spread.

Jack Nicholson

I really did not think a thing about playing five black players to start the game; they were our best players and deserved to start. But if I knew all the misery it was going to cause me in the weeks following the game, I'd have thought long and hard about it. The players from Kentucky were gracious about it, but many of their fans and people from other parts of the country did not want to see it.

Don Haskins

When you're 18, when you're at college, sports can be your life. You can watch every baseball game, every college basketball game, every football game. Once you have a family and kids, you can't do that anymore.