A Quote by Jane Wagner

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

Jane Wagner

Quote Topics

Funny God Praying Schizophrenic Talk Talks Us

Quote Author

Jane Wagner
American - Comedian
Born: February 2, 1935

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

Lily Tomlin

There are two gods. The god our teachers teach us about, and the God who teaches us. The god about whom people usually talk, and the God who talks to us. The god we learn to fear, and the God who speaks to us of mercy. The god who is somewhere up on high, and the God who is here in our daily lives. The god who demands punishment, and the God who forgives us our trespasses. The god who threatens us with the torments of Hell, and the God who shows us the true path. There are two gods. A god who casts us off because of our sins, and a God who calls to us with His love.

Paulo Coelho

If the dead talk to you, you are a spiritualist; if God talks to you, you are a schizophrenic.

Thomas Szasz

If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

Thomas Szasz

I'll pit my God against your god any day, I say to the Calvinists. It's not their god I'm praying to.... The God I'm praying to is neither male nor female. My God is the one who exists apart from all of men's agendas, the God who takes you away when there is no possible place you can go.

Brunonia Barry

In our prayers, we talk to God, in our Bible study, God talks to us, and we had better let God do most of the talking.

Dwight L. Moody

When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.

Lily Tomlin

We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.

H. Emilie Cady

Praying puts us at risk of getting involved in God's conditions. Be slow to pray. Praying most often doesn't get us what we want but what God wants, something quite at variance with what we conceive to be in our best interests.

Eugene H. Peterson

If a man wants to be always in God's company, he must pray regularly and read regularly. When we pray, we talk to God; when we read, God talks to us.

Isidore of Seville

Preaching that is boring is preaching that talks first about us and then only tangentially about God. Preaching that is faithful is preaching that talks first about God and then only secondarily and derivatively talks about us. The God of Scripture is so much more interestingly than we are.

William Henry Willimon

If we would have God in the closet, God must have us out of the closet. There is no way of praying to God, but by living to God.

Edward McKendree Bounds

I'm praying to the Creator of the world, the King of the universe, the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-faithful God. I'm praying to the God who made the mountains and who can move them if necessary. I'm praying to the God who has always been faithful to me, who has never let me down no matter how frightened I was or how difficult the situation looked. I'm praying to a God who wants to bear fruit through me, and I am going to trust that he is going to use me tonight. Not because of who I am, but because of who he is. He is faithful.

Bill Hybels

I want to talk about God in a literary way. But I think I would have a very hard time praying to God.

Jonathan Safran Foer

Prayer brings to us blessings which we need, and which only God can give, and which prayer can alone convey to us ... This service of prayer is not a mere rite, a ceremony through which we go, a sort of performance. Prayer is going to God for something needed and desired. Prayer is simply asking God to do for us what he has promised us he will do if we ask him ... Asking is man's part. Giving is God's part. The praying belongs to us. The answer belongs to God.