A Quote by Jay Leno

Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because "the states could do a gooder job.

Jay Leno

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Because Consider Could Department Education Elected Eliminating Job President Said She States Would

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Jay Leno
American - Comedian
Born: April 28, 1950

Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer if she is elected president. You know if she is elected president, we all better be praying. She doesn't have to lead us.

Jay Leno

I'm honored to be at the side of Michele Bachmann. She is a great congresswoman. She is a great human being, and she is a true American patriot.

Jon Voight

Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.

Andy Borowitz

Michele Bachmann said she wants her three daughters to learn to shoot a gun. Mostly so they can put her campaign out of its misery.

Conan O'Brien

Here's why Sarah Palin says she won't be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that's true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected.

David Letterman

Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else.

Jay Leno

I supported Hillary Clinton. She would have made an excellent president. I didn't think she could get elected. I thought it was too soon.

Gloria Steinem

Michele Bachmann is always a great person to go to for an opinion about anything. She has a very active and interesting mind.

Henry Rollins

Texas Senator Ted Cruz said if elected president he would abolish the Department of Education. But not to worry. He promised to replace it with the less expensive Bureau of Book Learning.

Conan O'Brien

There was a friend of ours who worked with a girl who had said she would consider being a surrogate. We met her and right away she was awesome. We were looking for someone who could take care of themselves and it was pretty clear she could.

Christopher Meloni

Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that God is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney!

Jay Leno

Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood 'the Lenscrafters of abortion.' Lenscrafters released a statement today calling her 'the Costco of crazy.'

Conan O'Brien

I said to my wife, Michele, 'What would you like for Christmas? Anything you want, darling, anything in our means.' She said she would like me to be the weight I was when we married. So I will not gorge myself.

Gyles Brandreth

The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary, because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann.

Bill Maher

But what I intend to do, the day after Hillary Clinton is elected president of the United States, is to do everything I can to make sure she goes forward as progressively as she can.

Bernie Sanders

The doctor's wife wasn't a bad woman. She was sufficiently convinced of her own importance to believe that God actually did watch everything she did and listen to everything she said, and she was too taken up with rooting out the pride she was prone to feeling in her own holiness to notice any other failings she might have had. She was a do-gooder, which means that all the ill she did, she did without realizing it.

Diane Setterfield

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