A Quote by Jay Leno
Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said he wants to be buried next to Hillary. I guess he figures he never slept next to her when they were alive, might as well try it now that they're dead.
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History has shown more than once that when people surrender totalitarian powers to their rulers, they are inevitably exercised in the next big crisis. And let's not forget here that the next president who wields this power and who will be in charge of military might well be Hillary Clinton.
You don't want to be like the motion picture exec who had so many people at his funeral, but they were there just make sure he was dead. Or how about the guy who, at his funeral, the priest said, "Won't anyone stand up and say anything nice for the deceased?" and finally someone said, "Well, his brother was worse."
While visiting Kenya, former President Clinton was offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter, Chelsea, by a love struck government official. Bill said, "No way!" How does that make Hillary feel? Bill almost gave her up for one cow.
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
Everything Bill Clinton has done is fair game. He's a former president. I just don't think that is the most effective way to beat Hillary Clinton, because while all that was going on there were a lot of women who felt for whatever reason great sympathy for Hillary Clinton. Look, if my husband were doing that, I would have left him. I would not have behaved the way Hillary Clinton did.
George Clooney, who is a moron, came here to Cannes and gave a press conference saying, 'Under no circumstances will Trump ever be president. Hillary Clinton will be the next president.' Well, we can't wait to make George Clooney eat his words.
We fought in court against President Bill Clinton's taking money to pay his legal bills through a legal-defense fund. During the George W. Bush administration, we questioned the propriety of his father, President George H.W. Bush, working for Carlyle Group, an investment company that was, in effect, a major defense contractor.
That was a sarcastic remark pointing out that Bill Clinton has, quite a past, and Hillary Clinton has done quite a job on attacking the people who were victims of Bill Clinton.
If she [Hillary Clinton] had not stood by the guy at any point, that might have meant the end of his [Bill Clinton's] career.
Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.
Bill Clinton became president, and he [Bill Clinton] kept cheating - and she kept destroying the women. She was supposed to be paid off in 2008. They gave her health care; she botched that. Hillarycare, it was called in 1993, '94, whatever. That was her first payoff. Co-presidency was the next payoff.
Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it.
[Hillary Clinton] has talked about not being a natural campaigner. And she has this big shadow because her husband, the former president [Bill Clinton], and President [Barack] Obama both are natural campaigners. And so this is a challenge for her.
So I guess that the next time I make a date with a concussed guy, I should pin a note to his collar so he doesn't forget." "Good plan." His hand was next to hers on the table. He let his thumb glide over her fingers, a small, almost casual touch that sent a shudder through her. "I'm sorry I forgot our date.
The special-counsel regulations were drafted at a unique historical moment. We were approaching the end of President Bill Clinton's second term, and no one knew who would be elected president the next year.
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