A Quote by Jay Mohr
My act now is completely different. I took two years off when I first got with my wife and it was because my old act was all about "Where's the party after this?" I was humping the stool and it's all so disgusting and I was miserable, miserable in a lifeless angry marriage. Then I met my wife and I was completely happy. Like a snake that sheds its skin. I just got rid of all of that negativity.
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According to the Bible, the marriage act is more than a physical act. It is an act of sharing. It is an act of communion. It is an act of total self-giving wherein the husband gives himself completely to the wife, and the wife gives herself to the husband in such a way that the two actually become one flesh.
It is completely surreal because two years ago I wasn't swimming, I was 10 kilos heavier and was on a completely different path in my life, I was still living in Sydney, I'm just so happy now.
If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That's the thing about being basically - whisper it quietly - happy, is that you don't really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you've got all disappears.
As a woman, birth control can really mess you up. Like, I switched and it completely messed me up - not completely, but I just started breaking out and as soon as I got off it, my skin was completely clear again.
When you act, you've got to be like a poet or a musician. It's not about evidence before court. It's not a forensic subject. It's poetry; it's a completely different place.
Yeah it's completely different, it's matured tenfold. We wrote the first album over five years as teenagers but now we've got the opportunity to do InMe full-time. We've got closer together, we've got a better connection.
I got a great business manager. When he invests, you make money. I got my house paid off, my wife, two little chihuahuas and tomato plants that are five feet high right now. I'm happy as a clam.
In Japan, the way they act at shows is very different from home because they don't yell, they clap for about 10 seconds after the song and then it's completely silent.
I was seventeen years old, a married woman without real responsibilities, miserable about my mixed-up emotions, afraid there was something awfully wrong with me because I didn't enjoy being a wife. Worst of all, I didn't have enough to do.
A woman in a single state may be happy and may be miserable; but most happy, most miserable, these are epithets belonging to a wife.
The dove act? I'm still working on it. I don't think it's perfect yet. I got my first pair of doves when I was 14 years old. That was the beginning of the formation of that act. So it's been 24 years now that I've been working on it.
You won't believe it, but for the first two years of our marriage I lived off my wife. Like every self-respecting man, I hated it.
You have a choice in life. Would you rather be lonely or miserable? I would rather be lonely. A lot of people are miserable in a marriage and they don't get along with their wife or husband and it's not worth it.
I was trying my best not to drink. I'd go a day or two, and I just couldn't stand it. It kinda got around that 'Hamilton got religion.' So for about a year, it was the most miserable time of my life because I was secretly still drinking. One night I came home, after about a year of this, and I woke up the next day and the desire was gone.
I think I would love to do a role where I completely transform myself and look completely different, act completely different, and do some crazy, cool, action drama where I was undercover and saving the world.
If your ex is making things up about you, he's obviously miserable. It's just like, 'Wow, this person really cares to go out of their way to start a rumor about me.' I've dealt with it so much, obviously. The first couple of times, it really sucks. But then [they] just come out with something else. If you dwell on it, it's going to make you miserable. Just move on and laugh it off.
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