A Quote by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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Christmas shopping! I can do all my Christmas shopping here! I know March is a bit early, but why not be organized? And then when Christmas arrives I won't have to go near the horrible Christmas crowds.
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
The truth is, he almost wasn't a senator at all. In 1972, shortly after his improbable victory, but before he took the oath of office, my father went to Washington to look at his new office space. My mom took us to go buy a Christmas tree. On the way home, we were in an automobile accident. My mom, Neilia, and my sister, Naomi, were killed.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
In your hurry to keep Christmas, you have forgotten Christmas. The truest gift of Christmas is the gift of self.
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Christmas was always a big holiday in our family. Every Christmas Eve before we'd go to bed, my mom and dad would read to us two or three stories and they would always be 'The Happy Prince,' 'The Gift of the Magi' and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas,' and I would like to keep that alive.
Christmas was always a big holiday in our family. Every Christmas Eve before wed go to bed, my mom and dad would read to us two or three stories and they would always be The Happy Prince, The Gift of the Magi and Twas the Night Before Christmas, and I would like to keep that alive.
Christmas time, we can remember with deep thanksgiving the amazing Christmas gift of God Himself, when God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
I like to buy girls shoes and jewelry. I buy stupidly expensive shoes. I got Louboutins for my mom and my girlfriend before. My mom was like, 'I can't wear these; they're too high.' I was like, 'Mom, you have to try them - they're so cool. They're red snakeskin!' She still wears them every so often, but she can't walk in them.
My little sister, the first thing she said was, 'Can we go shopping?' I said, 'Just because I am gay does not mean I want to go shopping!'
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
We all do that as human beings, you know? It's what my mom would call shopping on an empty stomach. You're going to buy food that you shouldn't because, at the time, you are reacting to your hunger.
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