A Quote by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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Living on reserve we hunted; we fished; we trapped. We lived off the land. If we didn't hunt, we didn't eat. In summer, we hauled water from the slough. In winter, we hauled in snow to heat for water.
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Your machinery is beautiful. Your society people have apologized to me for the envious ridicule with which your newspapers have referred to me. Your newspapers are comic but never amusing. Your Water Tower is a castellated monstrosity with pepperboxes stuck all over it. I am amazed that any people could so abuse Gothic art and make a structure not like a water tower but like a tower of a medieval castle. It should be torn down. It is a shame to spend so much money on buildings with such an unsatisfactory result. Your city looks positively dreary.
You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.
You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past.
You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
The word 'abstract' comes from the light tower of the philosophers. One of their spotlights that they have particularly focused on 'Art'. [Abstraction was] not so much what you could paint but rather what you could not paint. You could not paint a house or a tree or a mountain. It was then that subject matter came into existence as something you ought not have.
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