You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
But I'd rather help than watch. I'd rather have a heart than a mind. I'd rather expose too much than too little. I'd rather say hello to strangers than be afraid of them. I would rather know all this about myself than have more money than I need. I'd rather have something to love than a way to impress you.
I intend not to do an item song ever. I find the term 'item songs' bizarre. I do not want to comment on its presence and its popularity, but I would rather avoid it.
I do not like onions. It's so funny because I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. Pretty much any type of new food, I'll try it, I'll eat it. But onions, and pork. Pork and onions.
I'm like the most expensive, exotic item on a gourmet menu. People can wonder about the sensuous delights of the dish, but they can't afford such an expensive luxury
If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
I'm not really into gourmet food; I'm the kind of guy who just stops by a place that looks good rather than heading for the restaurant of the moment.
Whenever I was called a gourmet, I suspected I was being accused of something at least slightly unpleasant. But that was before I heard the term "foodie." I am still not sure that a gourmet is a good thing to be, but it must be better than a foodie.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
Rather than shrinking away from your problems, grow bigger than them.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.