A Quote by Jeff Foxworthy
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
Related Quotes
There is something more annoying than pleasant in finding neighbors from back home chiselling in on your own exclusive New York. It mitigates your triumph in having conquered the great city and brings home the ungratifying truth that anyone can do it.
You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past.
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
My parenting style could be described as not good cop or bad cop so much as nervous cop. I'm always yelling for somebody to stop because they're about to get hurt. I'm the take a jacket, slow down guy.
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
If I see a cop, it's not like, 'Oh, there's a cop who's gonna keep me safe.' It's more, 'There's a cop who might be having a bad day, so don't make eye contact.'
I think Dirk [Gently] thinks that he's a brilliant detective, but he's the worst detective, ever. He does have this particular skill, which I suppose you might call a really bad superpower because it's just not very helpful. He is able to sense the connections between things and he's nearly always right, but the problem is that he never knows what to do with any of those messages that he receives from the universe, so he just acts on things and gets himself into terrible trouble, all the time.
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.
If I play a cop, it's always a racist cop or a trigger-happy cop or a crooked cop - but by and large I play cowboys, bikers, and convicts.
I think the detective story is by far the best upholder of the democratic doctrine in literature. I mean, there couldn't have been detective stories until there were democracies, because the very foundation of the detective story is the thesis that if you're guilty you'll get it in the neck and if you're innocent you can't possibly be harmed. No matter who you are.
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