A Quote by Jen Kirkman
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.
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I find the fact that so few people buy albums to be strangely emancipating. There's absolutely no reason for 99% of musicians making albums to think about actually selling albums. So as a musician you can just make an album for the love of making albums.
I wanted to make something that reminded people of the way albums used to feel. I wanted something as good as the stuff put out by the Bomb Squad, or Dr. Dre and his production crew, or 'A Tribe Called Quest.' I miss albums like those.
I just remember one girl really getting me on the field and beating the holy crap out of me. I never to this day know why. And then people used to be funny because we were on welfare. People used to make fun of you. But I used to get school dinners so I thought it was great, I got a hot meal every day.
Throughout my career I have done it my way and used my stubborn streak. I thought the best way to captain was to shut out all the noise - I did it with my batting and thought 'that has served me well, so why change it?'
I'm trying to find a way to make music work as a living. People used to make their living selling albums. Those days are over! It's kind of an odd time. I guess it's kind of like writing.
I think that's the best thing about being black is that we find a way to make our own communities and always give room for people to pull up to our tables. We always provide a way for other people from different walks of life to come into the communities that we have built because we're so used to being excluded.
My friend Heinrich Zimmer of years ago used to say, 'The best things can't be told,' because they transcend thought. 'The second best are misunderstood,' because those are the thoughts that are supposed to refer to that which can't be thought about, and one gets stuck in the thoughts. 'The third best are what we talk about.'
The best way to deal in a transparent world is just be transparent. Let your life be authentic and let people look in. Because if they want to find out, they're gonna find out. And so to me it's given me a greater sense of accountability as a CEO. It's given me a greater opportunity to lead.
When the media would call and want to interview me, I thought it was 'cause they really wanted to find out what I thought about things. I thought it was because they really wanted to find out who I am. That's not what they wanted. They already in their minds knew who I was and they didn't like it, and they wanted face-to-face opportunities to expose my defects and my problems and my racism and bigotry and all this.
When you make albums like I do, and it's based off fanfare and based off touring - I make these albums, and I get on the road. It's not really a radio-driven thing. I get on the road, and I see my fans, and I touch each and every last one of them.
I tried to assimilate and mix myself in with everybody, but I still stood out because of my mannerisms, the way I spoke, my interests, the way I walked, all those things that make us stand out in a crowd. Then I got to a point where I stopped caring, because people were calling me names no matter what, so I thought I might as well just do what I wanted to do.
'Mixtape' sounds retro! I used to make lots of mixed tapes. It was one of those '90s things - every girl gave them to her best friend. I remember exchanging a few with a boy on a bus when I was 14. I thought he hated me, but in hindsight, maybe he was in love with me, because he gave me the best music.
Actually, acting turned out to be the perfect job for me, because I had a lot of different interests. I thought about being a priest at one point. I thought about being a teacher. I thought about being a lawyer. But I think acting is probably the best job for me.
I think it's really different for me whether I'm touring as part of a larger group or if I'm touring on my own. It's a completely different experience, because when I tour on my own, it's really just me by myself, and I make nice relationships with people.
I am a great believer in what we've been told time and time again by people like Joseph Campbell, "find your bliss." Find out what it is that touches you most deeply. Pursue it, learn about it, explore it, expand on it. Live with it and nurture it. Find your own way and make your own contribution. Find a way to make a contribution to this society because God knows we need contributions from the coming generation. This planet and this civilization is in need. I see it as a time of need.
So if you can make it through, you know you've got something good, you can handle anything. We've been blessed to grow but at the same time, the hard part is having to wear every single hat. It's exhausting, but it's entirely worth it because on the flip side, the best part about being a touring musician is being a touring musician.
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