A Quote by Jennifer Coolidge
I get the gold-digger part six times weekly. I can play those women into the ground, but I don't want someone telling me that's all I can do.
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I draft things on Twitter five or six times now, where as five, six years ago, I probably would just post and not really censor myself as much. But now I'm like, well, I don't want to post that I ate at McDonald's because then I'm going to get someone telling me I'm fat.
The gold-digger is the enemy of the honest laborer, whatever checks and compensations there may be. It is not enough to tell me that you worked hard to get your gold. So does the Devil work hard. The way of transgressors may be hard in many respects.
People say I'm a gold digger, but do you see me wearing gold? No. I'm wearing diamonds.
There are mothers who sew for six months to make a fashion collection - someone's grandmother, someone's sister. We come in and get paid to walk for 10 minutes at the end. Whenever I think about that, I realise it's not about me. I was just the one chosen to represent those women and sell the clothes.
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.
I bet sports all the time and very rarely get in a spot where someone offered me even money on something I'm going to get right five out of six times.
My treasure chest is filled with gold.
Gold . . . gold . . . gold . . .
Vagabond's gold and drifter's gold . . .
Worthless, priceless, dreamer's gold . . .
Gold of the sunset . . . gold of the dawn . . .Gold of the showertrees on my lawn . . .
Poet's gold and artist's gold . . .
Gold that can not be bought or sold -
Gold.
Even if you get a joke right you've done it a thousand times and sometimes there's times where it just doesn't work or someone doesn't agree with you. And I want to show that. I have had more hecklers because that's part of comedy is arguments, you know?
There are times when I get really depressed, when I'm going through difficult times and when I want someone to hold my hand. Sometimes I'll think, 'Forget it. I want to be this way.' I often feel that way. But when we started the Love Yourself World Tour, I stopped having those thoughts.
I was one of those weirdos who, at six years old, was telling everybody that I wanted to be an actor. I saw my sister in a play and realized that I wanted to play make believe in front of people; I was always goofing around and putting on shows for my family.
Let's suppose we all just materialized on Earth and there was a bunch of potatoes on the ground, okay? There's just six of us. Only six humans. We come into a clearing and there's potatoes on the ground. Now, my instinct would be, let's everybody get some potatoes. "Everybody got a potato? Joey didn't get a potato! He's small, he can't hold as many potatoes. Give Joey some of your potatoes." "No, these are my potatoes!" That's the Republicans. "I collected more of them, I got a bigger pile of potatoes, they're mine. If you want some of them, you're going to have to give me something."
There are certain aspects of me that can be bad-ass sometimes, but being able to push it to the extreme is something I'd love to play. You don't get those roles, as a female, and especially as an indigenous female. There aren't those roles out there, so I want that. I want women to see a strong, sexy female without showing her body too much.
I definitely am a performer, and there are different styles of stand-up; I mean, some people are writers and they get onstage to get jokes out, and that's definitely not what I do. I like to just go up and, if I'm telling a story about someone, I'll play his or her part.
What I consider a good part for a woman and what some other Hollywood people think are good women's parts are very different. I don't' want to play the supportive girlfriend who has nine scenes and just loves that man, maybe cheats on him in one scene but will always be there, and I mean - give me a break. You'll be offered the "lead" in this new hot film with such-and-such A-list director, "a fabulous part" - a fabulous part? A fabulous part is a character with a soul, who starts here and goes to there, you know? There aren't many of those.
And frankly, I'm a huge gold digger and The Miz is about to make a lot of money!
This is a crazy game we play. You're going to have those times you can't get out, and those times where you can do everything right, and the ball does not fall.
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