A Quote by Jennifer Finney Boylan
I feel like somebody who just got out of prison after 40 years for something she didn't do, like I got pardoned by the governor. When dear friends deal with me with mixed emotions, it is a little like being told, 'Well, Jenny, we're glad you got sprung, really, but quite honestly we did kind of like you better when you were in jail.
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Every time I sit down and write I got to put something conscious in there. It's like I got a job now. They say that for those that know you got to deal in equality. If you know and you don't speak on it and don't apply it, it's like you're the worst hypocrite. I feel I got a job to do, being that I study so much and I believe in Allah like I do, I feel like I got to spread the word.
I remember my mother would get upset with me 'cause she said I walked like my dad. But I think it was more like, there's something about you that's not quite ladylike and femme. And then when I got older - once I came out, my mom and grandma were horrified and just kind of like, where did we go wrong?
Somebody once said that my look was like if Aileen Wuornos got acquitted and got a book deal. And I was like, 'That's wrong, but it's really funny.' And I've always thought that she was kind of like a gold mine for parody because there's all these things that went wrong in her life.
When I debuted on the main roster, people just hated me. They were booing me. Social media got to me a bit. They were like, 'She's just there because she's Ric Flair's daughter.' I was like, 'Why doesn't anybody like me?' It really got to me.
I tried out for 'The Voice,' and I also tried out for 'America's Got Talent,' and both them, like, reached out to me. I had, like, little singing video on YouTube, and they were like, 'Come out for an audition.' I did, and I got a callback for both of them, actually, and, uh, didn't get anything after that. I was so heartbroken. But look at me now!
You've got to be able to hold a lot of contradictory ideas in your mind without going nuts. I feel like to do my job right, when I walk out on stage I've got to feel like it's the most important thing in the world. Also I've got to feel like, well, it's only rock and roll. Somehow you've got to believe both of those things.
For years Corky was what I call a jokester. He'd tease me with things like, 'You've got breasts like two currants on a breadboard' or 'You've got a sunken chest like a pirate's something or other.' He didn't like my teeth until I got braces at 25. It's like a little pickaxe that goes, chip, chip, chip, until, in the end, you think you are ugly.
I feel like I've got the skills to be at the top, I feel like I've got the mind-state, so basically what I'm saying is there's people all around me, there's artists all around me that are in my zone, but I still feel alone. I feel like I can't relate to them as much as I can related to maybe somebody that was a little bit higher up.
I'm much more willing to buy a novel electronically by someone I don't know. Because if halfway through I think, I don't really like this, I can just stop. I can't throw books out, even if I think they're crummy. I feel like I've got to give it to the library. I've got to loan it to somebody, or I keep it on my shelf. It's like a plant.
I am manageable. I, you know, it'll suffice I think. No, no, I feel pretty good. I trained for a long time and I got really cool, like I was doing jumps. It got like, I felt really good, but then when I got out on gravel and fake snow and - it just kind of all went downhill. But I think it's still okay.
After I had my daughter, I kind of got comfortable with motherhood and had time to focus on something else then I started "Sailing Souls" with Fisticuffs, who produced the majority of the mixtape. I just wanted to put out something, like it wasnt really for, you know exposure or to get a deal or really anything like that.
I think when you're a tall girl, you feel a little bit like an outcast. You have to go to the back of the photo. You're taller than all the boys. I know I felt more like an outsider. And then as I got older, I just got used to it. I got like, 'I don't date under 6 feet.' That's my policy.
It's a little scary when you - I got - I just got a box to my house for my birthday from this girl who writes - I mean it's a box of like - just like body lotions and stuff like this. And like this little box of dog toys in there. There's - you name it, candles, it's like this little box that she put together for my birthday. But she wrote in it and it came to my house.
There was one incident at a movie theater where my girl got mad at these guys who were talking behind us. I never looked back there, but she was like, 'Will you all just shut up!' And I just got up and moved three rows in front. She was like, 'What are you doing?!' I was like, 'You better get up here! I don't play the fighting games.'
I know there were periods of times where I didn't feel understood, and there were very few people around me that I felt like they really got me. There was one person who was sort of the one in my life that really got me.In general, I felt a little bit on the outside and not totally included. There was a period of time when we were moving around a lot. So I couldn't really hold on to a certain set of friends. And so that was a little bit difficult.
It was never so much the heavy metal thunder that got me. I was into players who played with taste and did these walking bass parts. If you can play like that, it really opens up the music. You can't just pound away. After a while it's like, 'So what? What else you got?'
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