A Quote by Jeremy Hardy
Marriage is like the witness protection programme: you get all new clothes, you live in the suburbs, and you're not allowed to see your friends anymore.
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Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Turn the old; return to them. Things do not change; we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do not want society.
Short of finding a place on the witness protection programme, you don't get many opportunities to completely reinvent your life. Going to university changes that. Away from home, away from parents, away from anyone who remembers you from school, you can pretend to be far cooler and more experienced than you are.
Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
I live in L.A. so I don't get to see much theatre anymore. They have a lot of touring shows but it's not like New York - I lived in New York for 15 years and you can walk out on the street and there's something to see.
My cousin Roger once told me, on the eve of his third wedding, that he felt marriage was addictive. Then he corrected himself. I mean early marriage, he said. The very start of a marriage. It's like a whole new beginning. You're entirely brand-new people; you haven't made any mistakes yet. You have a new place to live and new dishes and this new kind of, like, identity, this 'we' that gets invited everywhere together now. Why, sometimes your wife will have a brand-new name, even.
The state of New Jersey is really two places - terrible cities and wonderful suburbs. I live in the suburbs, the final battleground of the American dream, where people get married and have kids and try to scratch out a happy life for themselves. It's very romantic in that way, but a bit naive. I like to play with that in my work.
During the Olympics they're really strict about what you're allowed to wear. You get a lot of clothes, but everything is pre-ordered. We had a fitting over the summer. You're not allowed to wear your own clothes. No logos, nothing. You get fined if you wear something you're not supposed to wear.
We need uniform protection of traditional marriage. You can't have different definitions on something as fundamental as marriage. The Marriage Protection Amendment is the only solution to this problem.
Society may no longer define marriage in the only way marriage has ever been defined in the annals of recorded history. Many societies allowed polygamy, many allowed child marriages, some allowed marriage within families; but none, in thousands of years, defined marriage as the union of people of the same sex.
I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.
If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
You're not a little kid anymore. You need to make friends, get out of the house, and live your life.
I can't marry my way into citizenship like straight people can. I can get married in the state of New York where I live, but because of the Defense of Marriage Act, the federal government, which hands out visas, won't recognize my marriage.
I've never dated anybody. It's good to get experience under your belt but you should never get wild or go crazy. If I can't see myself with this person for life -- I can't be bothered. I can't waste my time. I have some really good men friends but I believe in no sex before marriage. No fornicating. Stuff like that. I really believe in that. I mean, I'm not perfect. It's hard to live by the Bible standards but I'm really comfortable with me.
Of course the concept is to give people samples to get them hooked, I get that. But to continuously give away our music, that's the reason why you don't see [many] rap award shows anymore, the reason that you don't see rappers in commercials anymore; because we have allowed our music to be devalued.
My views are very fluctuating. I have very contradictory takes on the subject. Dating is easier, while marriage is hard work. You see your friends having early divorces, and on the other hand, you see your parents having a successful marriage.
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