A Quote by Jessica Cutler
Normal people have sex lives of their own to worry about.
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The more we as a society make women's sex lives seem like a secret, the more hostile that becomes. Because when you get into that cycle of thinking, no matter what you're doing, you feel shameful about it, because there's no way to talk about it. I think that through talking about it and sharing stories you realize the things you may have felt shameful about are totally normal and totally OK. Everyone's normal in their own way. You can only come to that realization if you're having these conversations, and learning what normal is for other people.
I did think Justice [Antony] Kennedy's opinion on Lawrence was critical to that because it really, what Lawrence in one sense was, of course, about consensual sex being something that the government can't regulate. But really in a more fundamental sense, what it was saying, "Look. Gay people are normal people, and they get to live normal lives. They're not criminals by virtue of the fact of being gay."
In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can have sex just to have sex; you can have sex with friends; you can have sex with people you love; you can have sex with people you don't like, but the sex is good. And you can joke about sex much more.
The sex that is presented to us in everyday culture feels strange to me; its images are fragments, lifeless, removed from normal experience. Real sex, the sex in our cells and in the space between our neurons, leaks out and gets into things and stains our vision and colors our lives.
Don't worry about this world; it is not broken. And don't worry about others. You worry more about them than they do. There are people waging war; there are people on the battlefield who are more alive than they've ever been before. Don't try to protect people from life; just let them have their experience while you focus upon your own experience.
I tell my children they're beautiful, but that's more about their character as the way they look. We never talk about size or what's 'normal,' as everyone is unique. And I definitely don't mention things that might worry me about my own body in front of them.
I'm going to make my life everyday about being a blessing in people's lives. If I'm a blessing to people's lives, then there will be nothing to worry about again.
Once when I told sex workers about my own sex work, it ended up building inappropriate trust with some people. But there have been events now - like covering the protests against Backpage at the Village Voice - where I've talked to sex workers who don't necessarily know that I've done sex work.
I used to worry about money and career and what was going to happen. How was I gonna succeed or fail in the world? And I thought about it enough that I'm no longer worried about it. I'm not... I don't worry about what's gonna happen in my life. I don't worry about telling me about dying, my own mortality. That's a given.
I've concluded that the metric by which God will assess my life isn't dollars, but the individual people whose lives I've touched. I think that's the way it will work for us all. Don't worry about the level of individual prominence you have achieved; worry about the individuals you have helped become better people.
Let others worry about their own lives, and let the rest of us live.
People are talking about sex. They're talking about sex with their husbands. They're talking about sex with their girlfriends. They're talking about sex with their partners. And because of all of this communication, women are having much more intimate relationships, which is fantastic.
I certainly didn't grow up ever having to worry about where my next meal was coming from. The fact that so many people, even in our own country, worry about something so basic, it's something I really wanted to help to do something about.
When I was in high school, it was the beginning of hippies and free love and sleeping with people was a sign of your liberation and your freedom. Then we [had to worry about] AIDS, so they started lecturing my kids in elementary school about safe sex. Sex turned from something joyful into something kind of dangerous, and it was hard to avoid that sense that it was a different world.
I started out writing largely about my own sex life, but I always tried to bring that around to the bigger picture, and how I was or wasn't in sync with the rest of the culture. And I think people appreciated that I was frank and honest about sex, but also political.
I saw so many innocent lives, especially children, who were literally robbed of their potential because they're not given the food and nutrition that they need to get by. As a result, when young kids aren't given that proper nutrition, their minds are stunted; they're physically stunted. Truly, their start in life is one that is debilitating to them. And again, I certainly didn't grow up ever having to worry about where my next meal was coming from. The fact that so many people, even in our own country, worry about something so basic, it's something I really wanted to help do something about.
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