A Quote by Jim Gaffigan
I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.
Related Quotes
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.
My first wife kept calling me Sal, and I finally said to her, 'Why do you think I changed my name, honey? I really didn't like the old name.'
I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Griggs." Anson Choi feigns surprise. "What's her name?" "I didn't actually catch her name," Griggs continues. "Lily," Raffaela says over her shoulder and this time I give her a sideways look. "Great to know that I'm in love with a girl with a cool name." "It's Taylor's middle name," Raffaela calls back again.
When we were getting married the Hindu way in Arrah, we had an old guest who asked my wife what her 'good name' was. I think she'd heard that I had married a Muslim. When my wife said, 'Mona Ahmed Ali,' the lady looked at me and exclaimed, 'Oh, so you've married a terrorist.'
My wife never knew she'd be married to a 90-year-old. And I've prayed that I wouldn't be a crabby old coot, but a happy, joyous man who would let her know each day how much I love her and thank her for her loving care.
You know how Van Nuys got its name? Well, one day my little old Jewish mother was visiting me, and I took her to the top of the Hollywood Hills and had her view the valley below just at sunset. Well, mama, what would you call that? And she said, Ver nize.
Raj and I wanted a sister for Vir. My son is eight and we are looking at adopting a girl who could be between two-and-a-half to four-years-old. We have already thought of a name for her. We are going to call her Tara.
I know about her, although she has never crossed my path," he said softly. "I know about her struggles and her defeats. It is because of her defeats that she is to me the lovely one. Out of her defeats she has been born a new quality in woman. I have a name for it. I call it Tandy. I made up the name when I was a true dreamer and before my body became vile. It is the quality of being strong to be loved. It is something men need from women and that they do not get.
When my daughter went to school, her last name was mine. The school insisted that her father's name be added to hers, not her mother's. The fact that the mother kept her in her womb for nine months is forgotten. Women don't have an identity. She has her father's name today and will have her husband's tomorrow.
Girlfriend is such a stupid word. I couldn't stand calling her that. So, we had to get married, so I could call her 'wife.
Taylor is a musician who does things under her own name and tells her own stories-her songs and her albums are her.
Ike's problem was that he was a musician that always wanted to be a star; and was a star, locally, but never internationally... so he then changed the name to Ike and changed my name to Tina because if I ran away, Tina was his name. It was patented as you call it.
I was very headstrong about wanting to keep my name when I moved to Los Angeles. But casting directors would call my managers and say I was perfect for the part, but my name wasn't marketable - I was a young guy, and had the old man name of Gary. I kept losing jobs because of the name not being marketable, so I changed it to Garrett.
A lot of NBA GMs have asked me about me why I changed my middle name to Trill. Actually, the reason why I filed the paperwork to change my name was so that I could officially add my mother's last name, Stein, to my own. My mom is my best friend, and I wanted to honor her.
you can give it a long name if you like, but I'm an old-fashioned woman and I call it mother-wit, and it's so rare for a man to have it that if he does you write a book about him and call him Sherlock Holmes.
My real name is Elizabeth, but I had a nanny growing up who called me 'Elizabeanie.' So from 4 months old, my brothers were, like, 'Let's call her Beanie.' To show people the validity of it, I always say that if I met the president, I would say, 'Hi, my name is Beanie.'
Related Authors
Bill Maher Quotes
American
Comedian
Craig Ferguson Quotes
Scottish
Comedian
David Letterman Quotes
American
Comedian
Demetri Martin Quotes
American
Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
American
Comedian
George Carlin Quotes
American
Comedian
Jay Leno Quotes
American
Comedian
Jimmy Fallon Quotes
American
Comedian
Joan Rivers Quotes
American
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
American
Comedian
P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
American
Comedian
Robin Williams Quotes
American
Comedian
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
American
Comedian
Stephen Colbert Quotes
American
Comedian
Steve Martin Quotes
American
Comedian
Steven Wright Quotes
American
Comedian