A Quote by Jim Gaffigan

Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
No one is calling me. I can’t check the answering machine because I have been here all this time. If I go out, someone may call while I’m out. Then I can check the answering machine when I come back in.
I have this thing I used to say at home and in the office: If somebody is calling, unless it's somebody who can fire me, I'll call them back later.
A couple years ago I was going to back off and actually thought about retiring, but it keeps calling me back, and I'm going to keep going back as long as it calls me. I really think it has something to do with the good vibes that I feel I've spread through my performance and through the time that I've spent with fans.
Many of us in Congress have been calling on the Administration to articulate a bold mission for NASA. It seems that the President is answering that call. I wholeheartedly support his vision for going back to the moon, and from there to worlds beyond.
Only two things change when you get older: the energy in your voice and the time of night you feel it's appropriate to call someone. In your 20s, people call at 2 a.m. and yell, 'Are you up?' into the answering machine. Now, someone calls after 8 p.m., and my boyfriend is like, 'Who is that? Who could be calling at this hour?'
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
My rule is, whatever you were calling me four years ago is what you should be calling me now, because I don't like it when my family or close friends call me Nicki Minaj. To me I'm not Nicki Minaj when I'm with them.
So when we come across somebody who does understand this and makes an effort to try and explain it to us, some people freak out and turn that person into either an object of worship or, some people freak out and want to kill that person. I think it's because they know what's true but they don't want to know, they don't want to face up to what that actually means. So they're going to kill the messenger and hope that by doing so they'll destroy the message so they can go back to living their ordinary life again.
If I ever want to get back into coaching I should be calling teams they shouldn't be calling me. That's when you know you really want to do it.
I'd had colleagues tell me, 'You should be calling games.' But to actually have a producer call me and say, 'We want you in the booth,' I was like, What?
I got a call from Tom Hanks, who directed That Thing You Do!, when he was done cutting that film. I was like, "Oh, my god. Tom Hanks is calling me. This is amazing!" And then, of course, he was calling me to tell me that I was barely in the movie. But I'll never forget it - and this is why he's Tom Hanks, because he's got such a way with words.
At 7 in the morning, Rob Zombie calls. I just let the machine answer it, because I'm like, "Who's calling me at 7 in the morning?" It's Rob leaving this message, going, "That was the best birthday present I ever got in my whole life. I looked at Halloween script from cover to cover. No one else will ever get their fingers on this. It's wrapped in plastic. It's going in my vault. I love it. Thank you."
I majored in religion for my entire undergraduate career at Duke University and then I went to seminary for a year unsure whether or not I really had the call to be a minister. I spoke with a pastor of my home church and told him I was going to seminary. He said "Do you feel the call to be a minister?" and I said "Honestly, I don't. I know it's the greatest call you could have but I'm not feeling that call myself. He said "Well, you know, you're wrong. It's not the greatest call. The greatest call is whatever calling God has for you."
I don't like calling myself a "feminist" only because I don't think I've done anything active enough to call myself one. It'd be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I'm not racist.
Long before "American Idol" people used to call me a diva. And I be like, "Hold on, are you calling me something else on the sly? You gonna call me a diva, call me a good diva."
Long before 'American Idol', people used to call me a diva. And I be like, 'Hold on, are you calling me something else on the sly? You gonna call me a diva, call me a good diva.'
This site uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. More info...
Got it!