A Quote by Jim Gaffigan
You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."
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You consciously look after yourself, whatever that may be to you, whether it's going out for a few drinks and a bit of dinner, or just hitting the couch and watching TV, or going to the gym or yoga class. Just being aware that there's a potential for you to be in it and respecting wherever you find yourself is good enough.
I always go heavy and I always go to failure. Even when I tell myself I'm gonna go easy, once I get to the gym and start working, I never end up going easy. I hate leaving the floor feeling like I could have done more weight or more reps. I just love working out and going further than I ever did before.
I'm so busy and there's so much going on, that the gym or a workout can't be a last minute thought, like, 'I have nothing to do today I'm going to go to the gym.' Now it's, 'When am I going to find time to work out tomorrow?'
I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned how to combat depression. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it's a choice. You're in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke - or if you're on the road, go to a ball game... something that's going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
Digital presentation is just television in public; we're all just getting together and watching TV without pointing the remote control at the screen.
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."
When you look at the fittest, leanest populations like Japan and Scandinavia, they don't even go to the gym. The average person in Sydney takes 11,000 steps a day, and the average person in Houston does 4000. Guess who is going to be leaner, regardless of their diet?
It's so hard to go to war at home. Go to war, go home, repeat. And that is the future of warfare. Forget about remote control drones, there's going to be remote control tanks.
There’s a redemptive power that making a choice has rather than feeling like you’re an effect to all the things that are happening. Make a choice. Just decide what it’s gonna be, who you’re gonna be, how you are going to do it. Just decide. And from that point, the universe will get out of your way.
As a coach, they would love to sit there and say, 'It's going to be five steps, you're going to hitch up into a perfect pocket, you're going to look at number one - no; you're going to go to number two - no.' It doesn't work that way.
There are days I like going out, and days I like to sit naked with the remote control on my thigh, watching 'Breaking Bad.' I'm in love with that TV show. And 'Louie' on FX. And 'The Newsroom' - well, I don't know if I like it, but I'm obsessed with it. It's so Sorkin-y. But I've got some friends on there, so it's good to support them.
I think the other honest attraction was that I just grew up loving watching TV and loving watching film, and there's so many directors and actors that I dreamed of working with, I just really wanted to take a crack at it and see if I could ever work with some of those.
If you ever see The Rock working out in the gym, don't think you can just go up and disturb his workout and expect him to take a picture. He's there to work, so kindly just pass the silverback on by or he'll rip your face off.
It's really, really easy to make excuses as to why we can't go to the gym. If you can find time to sit in front of the TV for 45 minutes, you can find time to work out.
In a real relationship, you take two steps forward, one step back. So just because we take two steps forward and get all the benefit from that doesn't mean we can't go back or to the side.
After 9/11, I had just become an American citizen, and I remember sitting in front of my TV set watching the news of the attacks, in tears. I remember thinking to myself, 'Nothing is ever going to be the same in this country for people who look like me.'
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