A Quote by Jim Gaffigan

Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby. — © Jim Gaffigan
Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.
People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They’re pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn’t it?
A pregnant woman and her spouse dream of three babies--the perfect four-month-old who rewards them with smiles and musical cooing,the impaired baby, who changes each day, and the mysterious real baby whose presence is beginning to be evident in the motions of the fetus.
Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant.
Wherever life is, its main objective is to keep going, and it always wins. And nature? It's all built into nature. Survivability, life perpetuating. And that means there have to be babies. Baby everything! Baby birds, baby human beings, baby ants. You name it. There have to be babies, and what has to happen for there to be babies? Okay, birds and bees. What has to happen for that to happen? It's all intertwined, and it's all nature, and the left has come along and tried to monkey with it by politicizing as much of it as they can for whatever just really convoluted reasons.
It's hard to be in a bad mood when you're walking around looking like you're about to play the semifinals at Wimbledon.
Only a very small number of the e-mails containing classified information bore markings indicating the presence of classified information. But even if information is not marked 'classified' in an e-mail, participants who know or should know that the subject matter is classified are still obligated to protect it.
I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!
In Washington, the air quality today was described as 'red.'...You know what 'red' is? It's bad for everyone. Not just old people, sick people and babies. When it's just bad for old people, sick people and babies, that's called a Republican budget.
I have a twenty-month-old baby, a sixteen-year-old boy - same maturity level.
I realize that people fly with small children all the time, and that babies are easier in some ways because all they do is sit/lie around anyway, but damn it's hard to keep a baby comfortable on any flight, much less a long one, particularly amid the looks of horror they will get from fellow passengers as it dawns on them that their 10- to 13-hour flight might come with a soundtrack of screaming baby.
The thing that stood out above and beyond all the experiences was this relationship with the nine-month-old baby. On weekends, I'd be thinking about going back to set on Monday just to see the baby.
I don't go out there and put on any sort of front for people. If I'm in a good mood, I appear in a good mood on TV, and if I'm in a bad mood, I just go out there and look like I'm in a bad mood.
When your co-stars are 9-month-old babies, you fall in love. You start thinking, When am I going to have my own?
Babies are thinking and attracting before they are speaking. Even though you are only months old in your physical body, you are a very old and wise Creator, focused in that baby's body.
I'm not religious. I do have a baby - a four-month old girl - and that's a religion in itself.
If you go with what Hillary [Clinton] is saying, in the ninth month, you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby.
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