A Quote by Jim Jefferies

The thing where I thought I made it was when I paid my house off. It wasn't actually a moment on stage - it was the first bit of financial security. It was the first time I looked at my house, and it was all paid off, and I thought, 'Alright. Jokes paid for this.'
I can't tell you the number of times I was one of the first people at the arenas or at TV, constantly trying to better myself. I can honestly say that my hard work paid off. My resilience paid off. My persistence paid off.
We borrowed money, it helped us with bonds and what not, and the Federal Government backed it, but it was a guarantee, it was not a grant. And we not only paid it off, but we paid it off ahead of time.
I live in a Spanish-style hillside home in Los Angeles, California. I paid $900,000 in 1995. It's perhaps worth about $3m now. Thankfully, I paid off my mortgage before the crash because I could see it coming. I worried that I would be caught having to pay off a very high mortgage for a house I couldn't sell.
Everybody, every tradesman that worked for Shafin or built my house got fully paid, well paid. Everybody got paid. I would like that to be said if I could because I haven't said it before, and it's important. People kind of think we left all these plumbers or electricians without getting paid.
At the age of 10, I had my first piece published in what was known as the 'Junior Post,' which was part of the 'Yorkshire Post,' and it was just for kids. I read it every week. And I got paid for it. So I thought... 'I can actually do this. I can get paid to write, and this is going to be fine.' I wrote several pieces for them.
An audience is the most dangerous thing in the world, because they paid, and they're looking at you. And they paid! And there's a lot of them! And they cast a cold eye, because they paid. To be on the stage, you have to be very secure.
We paid for this instead of a generation of health insurance, or an alternative energy grid, or a brand-new system of roads and highways. With the $13-plus trillion we are estimated to ultimately spend on the bailouts, we could not only have bought and paid off every single sub-prime mortgage in the country (that would only have cost $1.4 trillion), we could have paid off every remaining mortgage of any kind in this country - and still have had enough money left over to buy a new house for every American who does not already have one.
I had written four scripts before I wrote Recount. Each one progressed my career a little bit, but I didn't make a dime off any of them. Recount was the first thing I sold, and I actually sold it as a pitch to HBO. They bought it as a pitch, which was a miracle. I thought, "Wow, this could be the last time I'll be paid to write a script again, which would be too bad because that was an amazing experience I just had."
I have learned that you can do anything you want to. They used to ask me if I thought the first lady ought to be paid. If you get paid, then I have to do what first lady is supposed to do. But you can do anything you want to, and it's such a great soap box.
The best car I ever had was a Mazda 626. I paid $72 for it. The guy told me if I towed it off his property I could do whatever I wanted to it. So I paid to have it towed to my house and me and my step-dad fixed it up and drove it until I totalled it.
Writers sometimes are paid a great deal of money, but much more frequently they're not paid or are paid only a little bit.
Listen, it's not just 'Full House.' It's across the board in the entertainment industry: women are not paid what men are paid.
The first time I ever got paid to play was 1/18/99, Fire Hall in Bordentown, New Jersey. Played first on the bill - we got paid $20!
The fair (ph) transforms the process by which we fund Social Security and Medicare because the money paid in consumption is paid by everybody, including illegals, prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, all the people that are freeloading off the system now.
The only thing that gives my mom pleasure in life is buying stuff off QVC, and I'm gonna pay those bills. I paid my mom's house off. My wife's family needs help? I'm gonna take care of that.
In the ancient world, taxes were paid in kind: landowners paid in crops or livestock; the landless paid with their labor. Taxing trade made medieval monarchs rich and funded the early-modern state.
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