A Quote by Jim Norton
I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
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The sling is to a rifle what the holster is to a pistol. If you have a sling, chances are you will keep the rifle with you. If there is no sling present, you will set the rifle down. When you are at the absolutely farthest point away from the rifle that you can possibly get, you'll need it.
Every comic is taught that you're supposed to have a great seven-minute set and then get a sitcom. And I don't want to get the sitcom.
A story: A man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he’s finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands, love a woman, build a house, change his son’s diaper; his hands remember the rifle.
I think it might be harder for a young comic because there's so much more competition. There's more people trying to do it and there are less rooms. Seriously. The way people do anything now is by getting press - some scandal. It's awful. Somebody has to go on a rooftop with a rifle and they get their own sitcom. It's disgusting.
I dreamed even after I laid down my rifle I would continue to uphold my oath to defend the Constitution.
I always try to use my medium, and if I get into a normal sitcom-writing contest with normal sitcom writers, I'm going to lose.
Personal weapons are what raised mankind out of the mud, and the rifle is the queen of personal weapons.... Pick up a rifle - a really good rifle - and if you know how to use it well, you change instantly from a mouse to a man, from a peon to a caballero, and - most significantly - from a subject to a citizen.
Well, usually, when you're doing a sitcom, you get a script and every word or for the most part, is written. So, you know, if it's a 30-minute sitcom, then it's a 35-page script or something like that.
I am sometimes perplexed by people who refer to defensive rifles, or defensive rifle shooting. The defensive arm is the pistol, since you have it at hand to meet situations that you do not anticipate. If you have the luxury of anticipating a lethal encounter, you pick up a long arm, either a rifle or a shotgun, but in that case you go on to the attack. Thus rifle shooting is offensive, and pistol shooting is defensive. Of course, life does not always duplicate theory, and there are exceptions to everything, but nevertheless the rifle is not a defensive weapon in concept.
What makes 'Derek' a different kind of sitcom - if it is even a sitcom - is its sincerity.
I didn't want to have to follow 'Everybody Loves Raymond' with another sitcom. Let it be my sitcom legacy, and leave it at that.
I wouldn't consider myself a traditional sitcom actor or someone you'd even think would be in a sitcom.
It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.
Sitcom hours are silly easy compared to drama. Whenever an actor on a sitcom complains, I feel like smacking them!
...instead of giving a rifle to somebody, build a school; instead of giving a rifle, build a community with adequate services. Instead of giving a rifle, develop an educational system that is not about conflict and violence, but one that promotes respect for values, for life, and respect for one's elders. This requires a huge investment. Yet if we can invest in a different vision of peaceful coexistence, I think we can change the world, because every problem has a nonviolent answer.
'Caroline In The City' was such an interesting thing, because I'd never been on the set of a sitcom or even auditioned for a sitcom when they gave me that part.
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