A Quote by Jim Norton
I don't have jokes that I can't defend.
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I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.
It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
Defend the church. Defend the family. Defend the non-profit community. Defend them against a government that wants to weaken them.
I use mother-in-law jokes, kid jokes, tax jokes - anything that works.
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
I'm able to defend. A lot of guys don't have that willingness to defend and I think as a guard who's undersized - that's what everybody says; I'm undersized - I'm able to defend and willing to defend and bring that.
People would say, "Oh, you say you just do jokes." I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.
Defend the Bible? I would as soon defend a lion! Unchain it and it will defend itself.
Nuclear is the single greatest threat. Just to go down the list, we defend Japan, we defend Germany, we defend South Korea, we defend Saudi Arabia, we defend countries. They do not pay us. But they should be paying us, because we are providing tremendous service and we're losing a fortune. That's why we're losing - we're losing - we lose on everything. I say, who makes these - we lose on everything.
The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was.
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a good teller of jokes.
I learned all those jokes in second grade. Second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap.
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
I don't tend to like race jokes. I don't like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I'm both. Well, I'm not black - but if I was then I could dance better.
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