A Quote by Jimmy Carr

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors. — © Jimmy Carr
Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.
When every court was saying 'no,' I believe God was still saying yes. I had to somehow find that faith and reach deep down in my soul and believe in the teaching that my mother taught me as a young boy, that God can do everything but fail.
I am always saying, 'I don't believe in God; I believe in Al Pacino.' And that's true. If I ever get a phone call saying 'Would you like to work with Al Pacino?' I would go crazy.
If you're out there saying something that you don't personally believe, then it doesn't really matter if a voter agrees with what you're saying. If they don't believe that you believe it, then they're not going to listen to you anyway.
I'm saying that I believe Paula Jones, is what i'm saying. And I believe that that $14,000 a year Arkansas State employee being brought up to the governor's hotel room and him exposing herself as all the evidence said.
You have to believe in what you are saying. Maybe they will like it or not but they cannot contest that what you are saying is true.
I am a Christian. I believe in God. I believe in Christ. Everybody is entitled to their own religion and their own opinion. I'm not saying I'm perfect and that I don't make mistakes. But I do believe in a higher power.
That's the part I kept trying to say on Queen Radio: I don't have to believe you because you're saying it. I'm not saying you're a liar, I learned that long ago too. There's a big difference between you're a liar and I don't believe you.
Some guys-a lot of guys-don't believe what they are seeing, especially if it gets in the way of what they want to eat or drink or believe. Me, I don't believe in God. But if i saw him, I would. I wouldn't just go around saying, "Jesus, that was a great special effect." The definition of an asshole is a guy who doesn't believe what he's seeing.
We don't believe something by merely saying we believe it, or even when we believe that we believe it. We believe something when we act as if it were true.
Everything I do is alchemy. That's why I believe in magic. Not black magic, not the satanic magic that they practice in Hollywood and that the deep state practices and that the media practice. I believe in good magic, light magic, alchametic magic.
Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?
Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, "Can you believe these kids today?" They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they're doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.
I think young people can spot when people believe what they are saying and when people aren't believing what they are saying, and when I was a kid, I really did believe what Ric Flair and Randy Savage and Bret Hart said in their promos. I think there has to be some believability.
Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.
A very poor kid came up to me after a talk and said 'I want to go blow up a factory.' I asked how old he was and he said 17. I said 'have you ever had sex?' He said 'no.' I said 'just remember if you get caught you aren't going to have sex for twenty years at least.' That's not saying that one person having sex is worth the salmon. I'm not saying it's a reason not to act, I'm saying don't be stupid.
Very few people want to hear the truth. Bogie was like that, my mother was like that, and I'm like that. I believe in the truth, and I believe in saying what you think. Why not? Do you have to go around whispering all the time or playing a game with people? I just don't believe in that. So I'm not the most adored person on the face of the earth.
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