A Quote by Jimmy Fallon
Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop in Las Vegas yesterday. She said she wants citizenship for undocumented immigrants. But after seeing Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo yesterday, immigrants said, 'You know what, we're good. We're gonna head back now. We had enough.'
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Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't do anything else.
Hillary Clinton announced she's running for president. Yesterday in Ohio, Hillary popped into a Chipotle and she ordered a burrito bowl with chips and salsa. And on her way out she said, 'That locks down the Hispanic vote.'
Hillary Clinton knew she wasn't gonna be indicted for whatever she's doing with the emails. You know how I know that? Because Jorge Ramos asked her in an interview. He said, "Would you step down if you were indicted?" And her reaction was (cackling), "What? Indicted? For what? What the heck? Are you serious? Oh, my God!" She said, "Silly! Ho-ho." There was no way it was gonna happen.
Hillary Clinton has said numerous times in this campaign, "If Congress doesn't act to end the plague of gun violence in America," that she will do so by executive action. Now, what is she going to do?
Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'
The time for common-sense immigration reform is now," Grayson said in a news release. "We must set forth a straightforward route to citizenship for the undocumented immigrants who already live in our communities, work for our businesses and want to give back to the country that they call home.
Jeb Bush is getting his presidential campaign in gear. Last week he said he supports a path to citizenship for immigrants. He said, 'I believe in an America where hard work and dedication can lead to any job that your brother and dad once had.'
[Hillary Clinton] is been honest about how many people she wants to enter the country unquestioned, unvetted, both illegal immigrants and refugees.
[Hillary Clinton] is now lost two times in a row, is the message that [Kellyanne] Conway was sending. But to the Clinton camp, the campaign's never over. It's gonna continue 'cause then you're raising money for the foundation. She's floating the fact she might run again in 2020.
I'm sorry about yesterday," she said. He hung on to his straps and shrugged. "Yesterday happens.
I don't want anybody to be under a misunderstanding. Donald Trump never even said the word "assassination." That was the word used by Hillary Clinton in 2008, which CNN is calling a gaffe. (impression) "But Trump meant it! Yeah, Trump, he meant it." With Hillary, "It was a gaffe! We all know Hillary Clinton, and we all know Hillary Clinton didn't really mean what she said." Yeah, right. Double standards.
Hillary Clinton cannot be honest, in a nationwide campaign, about what she's gonna do. She wouldn't get 30% of the vote, maybe 40, if she did. Just like Obama didn't. Obama didn't campaign on 90% of the stuff that he ended up doing. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Time magazine interviewed Bill Clinton about the current presidential campaign, and he claimed he had to ask Hillary to marry him three times before she said yes. Then Hillary was like, 'Yeah. That wasn't me.'
As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite an impact on businesses. Restaurants had to close, construction sites had to shut down, the Yankees had to forfeit a game. ... Do you realize that Americans are now doing the jobs that immigrants won't do because they're out protesting?
The point is that Hillary Clinton is running on all these ideas. She's gonna do this and she gonna do that. She's gonna fix this. She's got a massive new economic plan that's not gonna add a penny to the national debt, while Donald Trump's will add 20 trillion to the national debt. What she does, she always pivots and goes back to the Children's Defense Fund. "Well, I started working in the 1970s for women and children, Children's Defense Fund." That's magic and you're not supposed to question nothing further after that.
Hillary Clinton was actually inducted into the Irish American Hall of Fame yesterday. Hillary said she's very proud of her Irish heritage or her Italian heritage or her Asian heritage. Whatever it takes to seal the deal with you guys. I've got to get into that Oval Office.
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