A Quote by Jimmy Kimmel

It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up.

Jimmy Kimmel

Quote Topics

Buy Drunken Every Funny Guy High High School How Me Now Out Pal Popular Pretty School Shot Soon States Throwing Throwing Up United United States Up Want Wants Worked

Quote Author

Jimmy Kimmel
American - Celebrity
Born: November 13, 1967

It appears that the Soviets are now going to allow prayer in school. One wonders how soon the United States will catch up.

Jeff Cooper

I crushed on the most popular guy in school! I saw him at a concert and I shouted out," Is that Shane Lopes? You were the most popular guy in my class, but you never wanted to go out with me. Instead it was Amanda Wayne. What are you thinking now?

Katy Perry

The popular girls let me hang out with them because I was funny. They told me that. 'You're not popular, but you're funny.' Now all my friends are funny.

Nia Vardalos

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.

Will Ferrell

I read that 36% of Latin kids drop out of high school, and we're the most bullied minority in schools right now. And my son had troubles in elementary school. So that made me really question being Latin in the United States.

John Leguizamo

Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.

Tucker Max

The first time I came to the Comedy Festival some nutcase shot a bunch of people in Tasmania. I thought, 'Oh, that's just Tasmania.' The second time I came, some nut shot up Columbine High School. Now I'm here again, and another nut just shot up a high school in Minnesota. If you can't see the connection between me playing the Comedy Festival and mass murder, you're no good at conspiracy theories.

Rich Hall

Humor can be a great way to lift spirits and relate with soon-to-be high school grads. Whether you're in need of a funny senior year quote for a card, your yearbook, or a gift, you can use this list of funny graduation quotes by famous leaders and comedians to get inspired. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.

George W. Bush

Nobody wants to put the creditworthiness of the United States in jeopardy. Nobody wants to see the United States default. So we've got to seize this moment, and we have to seize it soon.

Barack Obama

Most people are nostalgic in a way that they're fond of the past, but they still are happy that they are where they are now. You know, when you say, 'Oh, high school was this or that,' you don't want to go back. No matter how much you loved high school, you don't want to actually be back in high school. I certainly wouldn't.

Jason Reitman

What the United States has done hasn't always been liked or popular. But if you look at some of the most populous places in the world - China, India - the United States is not only respected but, in fact, popular.

Condoleezza Rice

I don't know if I was popular in high school. My school was actually not really clique-y, which was nice. I went to a very artsy school, so everyone was kind of friends with each other. I was trying to be popular more, like, in junior high and elementary school and dealt with all that backstabbing and drama.

Lili Simmons

France, like every other Western country except the United States, has long accepted the principle that comprehensive health care is the right of every citizen. No Frenchman need ever fear that catastrophic illness will wipe him out financially. How long, do you suppose, will it take us, in the United States, to catch up?

Suzanne Massie

[Larry Laurenzano] gave me a junior high school saxophone to take to high school, because I was always taking one of our school horns home to practice and I couldn't afford to buy one. He gave my friend, Tyrone, a tuba and he gave me a junior high saxophone for each of us to use at Performing Arts High School with. My audition piece was selections from Rocky. We were not sophisticated. But we had some spirit about it. We enjoyed it, and it was a way out.

Jon Gordon

What America is, to me, is a guy doesn't want to buy, you let him not buy, you respect his not buying. A guy has a crazy notion different from your crazy notion, you pat him on the back and say, Hey pal, nice crazy notion, let's go have a beer. America, to me, should be shouting all the time, a bunch of shouting voices, most of them wrong, some of them nuts, but please, not just one droning glamorous reasonable voice.