A Quote by Jo Brand
An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
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My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
I don't know that person anymore, that guy in '86, '87. I don't know that guy no more. I don't have no affinity for that guy no more. I have no affinity for the guy who said, 'I am the greatest fighter God produced.' I have no affinity for the guy who said he would try to push his [opponent's] nose bone up into his brain. I just don't know that guy. I don't know who he is. I don't know where he came from. I don't have no kind of connection with him no more.
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
One time this guy on the street wanted me to give him a medical opinion, because I'm a doctor on TV. I'm also a real doctor. But I'm also Zack Braff, so I kicked him in the groin.
When I'm fighting, I'm trying to find a reaction. I try to make the guy move; I try to make him do things that I want him to do. If he likes moving a certain way, I try to set something up so I catch him if he moves that way.
I said to my doctor at the beginning, 'I'm no good; I can't do anything. I'm dumb.' He suggested I try educating myself by listening to Boston's educational TV station. He said I had a perfectly good mind.
So much of being an actor is trying to force yourself into these roles and sometimes it's a good fit, and sometimes it's not a good fit... you have to get clear about what it is that you do and not try to be a bunch of other people. Not try to be that guy or try to play that part; find the roles that you do well.
Go back to Obamacare for a second. Remember Obama, you can keep your plan, you can keep your doctor. He said it 28 different times, keep the plan, keep the doctor. Keep your plan, keep your doctor. He lied.
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.
My father was a doctor, and I admired him and got along well with him. He took me with him on house calls. We were living in Flushing, which was then a sleepy village of 25,000 - before the subway got there. I've been sure I wanted to be a doctor since I was about 12.
I think it's important, whether it be learning from how a guy takes care of his body, how a guy studies, how a guy is a mentor, how a guy is a leader, you take bits and pieces that fit the person you are and you don't try to be somebody you're not.
My doctor told me that I really should lose some weight. "You're mildly obese," he said. And I thought, "Well, who couldn't afford to lose 20 or 30 pounds?" He said, "Well, a person in your category." I said, "What is that category, doctor?" He said, "Well, you're what I call upwardly middle aged." And I said, "I forgive you for everything."
Every day I train with him I try to learn so even if it don't work out I can take something somewhere else because it's Thierry Henry. I grew up watching that guy scoring goals for Arsenal. I'm very lucky to have played with him. I just try to listen to him on the pitch, and stay close.
If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
A doctor can be a doctor today and they will be a doctor tomorrow. But an actor, well you're not working at anything right now, whereas the doctor is going to have their job tomorrow, for the most part. So there's the insecurity of that, and you have to go where the work is.
A lot of shows where I'm playing a senator or a congressman or a doctor or a high-priced attorney, I do a number on myself. "I am a powerful attorney, or a doctor." It's a little convincing job I do on myself first to know I can walk out on the set and know that I can be this guy.
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