A Quote by Joan Rivers

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card. — © Joan Rivers
No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
With a public library card in your hand, you have access to the Internet and a world of opportunities.
And if you are a parent, introduce your children to their neighborhood library. It will give them a real sense of independence to have their own library card and enjoy borrowing books.
I am a neat hand at cookery, and I'll tell you what I knocked up for my Christmas-eve dinner in the Library Cart. I knocked up a beefsteak-pudding for one, with two kidneys, a dozen oysters, and a couple of mushrooms thrown in. It's a pudding to put a man in good humour with everything, except the two bottom buttons of his waistcoat.
As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
Libraries are community treasure chests, loaded with a wealth of information available to everyone equally, and the key to that treasure chest is the library card. I have found the most valuable thing in my wallet is my library card.
It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
Come indoors then, and open the books on your library shelves. For you have a library and a good one. A working library, a living library; a library where nothing is chained down and nothing is locked up; a library where the songs of the singers rise naturally from the lives of the livers.
When you find your definitions in God, you find the very purpose for which you were created. Put your hand into God's hand, know His absolutes, demonstrate His love, present His truth, and the message of redemption and transformation will take hold.
If you want to help a hungry poor man sleeping on the bench, don't ever wake him up; put some food on the bench, put some money and leave the place without looking at your back!
I'm the guy who will persist in his path. I'm the guy who will make you laugh. I'm the guy who strives to be open. I'm the guy who's been heartbroken. I'm the guy who has been on his own, and I'm the guy who's felt alone. I'm the guy who holds your hand, and I'm the guy who will stand up and be a man. I'm the guy who tries to make things better. I'm the guy who's the whitest half Cuban ever. I'm the guy who's lost more than he's won. I'm the guy who's turn, but never spun. I'm the guy you couldn't see. I'm that guy, and that guy is me.
Now I don't want to take roles just for money. It's like trying on the right dress. When you go shopping for a dress, you can try to make something work 'cause you can't find the right one, but you always have that memory of the time you put on the perfect dress and you were like, "Oh, my god, I love myself in this dress! I'm excited to go out and have people see me in this!" That's the way that I'm looking at the roles that I want to do. I'm not looking for anything specific, except for something that has heart, and that I will enjoy doing that feeds my soul.
Women always think that if they tell a man not to be pompous that will shut him up, but I am an old hand at that game. I know that if a man bides his time his moment will come.
Why do people think that if you don't dress up, others will appreciate your beauty more - that style will somehow emanate from you? It's rubbish. If you dress up it helps your personality to emerge - if you choose well
A dress will never make a woman sexy, fatale, magnificent, mysterious. It's a way of walking, of standing, or existing, the way you give your hand or your regard. That's what makes the dress.
Will you believe me when I tell you there was kindness in his heart? His left hand didn't know what his right hand was doing. It was only that certain important connections had been burned through. If I opened up your head and ran a hot soldering iron around in your brain, I might turn you into someone like that.
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