A Quote by Joan Rivers

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers

Quote Topics

Funny God Bend Diamonds Floor Over Put Us Wanted

Quote Author

Joan Rivers
American - Comedian
June 8, 1933 - September 4, 2014

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers

A god who gave us everything we wanted would be the most malevolent god of all. With an infantile curiosity, we insist on tasting the cockroach on the floor while our father is preparing a magnificent feast for us.

Criss Jami

But I know what I like.' She smiled, and et the cat drop to the floor. 'It's like Tiffany's,'she said. 'Not that I give a hoot about jewellery. Diamonds, yes. But it's tacky to wear diamonds before you're forty; and even that's risky.

Truman Capote

I'm fascinated by diamonds. When I put diamonds on, my hands start to shake.

Debra Messing

Suffering can bend & break us. But it can also break us open to become the persons God intended us to be. It depends on what we do with the pain. If we offer it back to God, He will use it to do great things in us & through us, because suffering is fertile... it an grow new life.

John Green

Bend down, bend down. Excess is the only ease, so bend. The sun is in the tree. Put your mouth on mine. Bend down beam & slash, for Dread is dreamed-up-scenes of what comes after death. Is being fled from what bends down in pain. The elbow bends in the brain, lifts the cup. The worst is yet to dream you up, so bend down the intrigue you dreamed. Flee the hayneedle in the brain's tree. Excess allures by leaps. Stars burn clean. Oriole bitches and gleams. Dread is the fear of being less forever. So bend. Bend down and kiss what you see.

Stan Rice

I'll just do a round around of the house and make sure the rest of the family are fast asleep. We don't want that sharp-nosed aunt of yours catching us when we find the diamonds." "What diamonds?" "Think positive for once...Which would you rather, diamonds or the remains of a murdered maidservant? It's all a question of attitude.

Kerstin Gier

I worry about Zimbabweans. They bend, they bend, they bend, they bend - where do the people break? How long can they go on scrounging for food in garbage dumps and using the moisture from sewage drains to plant vegetables?

Samantha Power

I can bend over and put my head between my legs, stick my foot over my head, and stand one leg.

Diamond Dallas Page

When I was little, whenever I got out of the shower, I never wanted to touch the floor because once you touch the floor, your feet are dirty again. So in the shower, I used to put my socks on already without drying them off.

Gilbert Arenas

God never intended us to want anything more than we want Him. Just the slightest glimpse into His Word proves that, Look at what the Bible says about God's chosen people, the Israelites, when they wanted food more than they wanted God: 'They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved' (Psalm 78:18). Yikes

Lysa TerKeurst

They got a lot of kids now whose uniforms are so tight, especially the pants, that they cannot bend over to pick up ground balls. And they don't want to bend over in television games because in that way there is no way their face can get on the camera.

Casey Stengel

The truth is: We serve a generous God. He delights in giving us opportunities beyond our capabilities. He has promised to equip us, and remain with us through each bend in the road.

David Jeremiah

Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us.... Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don't lose heart in the process.