A Quote by Joan Rivers

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Joan Rivers

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Birth Cord Cut Dog Dumb Everywhere Followed Forgot Gave Having Kid Leash Like Me Year

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Joan Rivers
American - Comedian
June 8, 1933 - September 4, 2014

A lot of passes that I throw, some of them are kind of thread-the-needle type of passes, and I know Year 1 or Year 2 Bam wouldn't have done that. But you've gotta take the leash off the dog. What's scarier, a dog with a leash walking with a person or a dog with nobody around him?

Bam Adebayo

Charter schools are just public schools on a slightly longer leash. A dog on a long leash is still a dog on a leash.

Marshall Fritz

When I was born, the umbilical cord came wrapped around my neck, so when I came out, I wasn't breathing. The cord had cut off my oxygen - not the entire time, just at the end, when my mom was giving birth. When I came out, I wasn't conscious, so they had to work on bringing me back. It was a crazy moment.

LaMarcus Aldridge

I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.

Bill Hicks

What you run away from owns you. You are the dog on a leash. The most you can do is to tug against the leash.

Adyashanti

I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

Rodney Dangerfield

Chip is like that kid, like the five-year-old kid that's trying to make his mom breakfast, and there's milk everywhere.

Joanna Gaines

A dog gets lonesome just like a human. He wants to associate with other dogs, but when they take him out, the poor dog is on a leash and cannot run around.

Langston Hughes

Ultraconservatism is, to me, so illogical. Everywhere you go, conservatives want to cut, cut, cut, cut - cut money for powerless people. So, that's the biggest problem I have with them.

Alec Baldwin

My father kept me busy from dawn to dusk when I was a kid. When I wasn't pitching hay, hauling corn or running a tractor, I was heaving a baseball into his mitt behind the barn... If all the parents in the country followed his rule, juvenile delinquency would be cut in half in a year's time.

Bob Feller

I have a spaniel that defrocked a nun last week. He took hold of the cord. I had hold of the leash. It was like elephants holding tails. Imagine me undressing a nun, even second hand.

E. B. White

She gave Pretty Boy a surreptitious glance. Did he honestly expect her to believe he was gay? True, there were the gay boots and those stunning good looks. But, even so, he blasted enough heterosexual mega-wattage to light up the entire female population. Which he’d undoubtedly been doing since he shot out of the birth canal, glimpsed his reflection in the obstetrician’s eyeglasses, and gave the world a high five.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Take personal responsibility. A lot of people go, 'Well, I'll get a dog because I have a kid and a kid needs a dog.' And it doesn't work out for that dog and the dog is on the street.

Betty White

does you costume involve leather?" she'd asked. and he'd said, "Actually, yeah, it might." it really did. it involved a leather dog collar, leather pants and a leash, and the leash was held by Ysandre, who was in skintight red rubber, from neck to knee high boots. she'd topped it off with a pair of devil horns and a red tridant. she'd made Shane her dog, complete with furry dog mask. ***"Breathe," Myrnin said. "I'm not much for it myself, but i hear it's quite good for humans."***

Rachel Caine

The excuse of having a dog is great, because before I had a dog, I wouldn't be like, 'I need to go hike for two hours'; my girlfriend would have been like, 'What are you doing?' Now I take the dog, and she comes with me.

Finneas

I'm no one's lap dog, you can't put me on a leash.

John Lydon

A Quote by Joan Rivers

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