A Quote by Joel C. Rosenberg

God is not a vending machine where if you put in enough prayer quarters we get a Reese's Pieces bag that pops out.

Joel C. Rosenberg

Quote Topics

Bag Enough Get God Machine Out Pieces Pops Prayer Put Quarters Vending

Quote Author

Joel C. Rosenberg
American - Writer

We believe that God is like a giant vending machine in the sky. We put in our requests in the form of prayers, and then the vending machine dispenses these prayers based upon how well we've followed the rules that someone else has told us are God's rules.

Wayne Dyer

One girl used to call me Brownie and tell me to go back to my own country. At lunch, I'd get a bag of chips from the vending machine and eat it in the storage room so I wouldn't have to see her.

Priyanka Chopra

I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only has six more months to hold stuff.

Mitch Hedberg

I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.

Mitch Hedberg

I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up? That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. "Yeah, what candy bar are you getting?" "That one, and every one on the bottom row!"

Mitch Hedberg

Some people seem to believe that for each problem there is a solution readily available - a solution that can be promptly achieved by passing a law and voting some money. I think of this as the vending machine concept of social change. Put a coin in the machine and out comes a piece of candy. If there is a social problem, pass a law and out comes a solution.

John W. Gardner

I think you have to find how the machine can work for you. That's what I mean by "attaching yourself to the machine," 'cause the machine is going to be there, and you can rage against the machine, which is cool, but there's ways that you can benefit off the machine if you're savvy enough and you're sharp enough, smart enough. We all got to live and eat.

Ice Cube

One simply turns to the ideological vending machine, and out comes the prepared formulae.

Daniel Bell

Congress, 535 commoditized temple monkeys pawing through the ruins of America in search of bribes. The bicameral whorehouse on Capitol Hill works like a vending machine. You put coins in the slot, select your law, and the desired legislation slides out.

Fred Reed

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Caroline Rhea

I'd watch my father get up at 5 o'clock and go down to the Eastern Market in Detroit to do the shopping for his restaurant, and get that business going and then go out on his vending machine business.

Ed Bradley

I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

Mitch Hedberg

Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!

Jon Stewart

I might put a couple of quarters in a slot machine, but I don't know how to play roulette.

Drew Scott

I tell people that If one woman can get prayer taken out of the school, it may very well be that God Is asking another woman to get prayer back into the schools. I am confident that's what God wants us to do.