A Quote by John Carlos
Like I tell everyone, I say the bottom line to my life is that I've gone through torments in my life, but it made me stronger. I haven't lost my mind, I haven't become a dope fiend, I'm not a drug pusher, I'm not a stick-up man.
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We're grown men; we were kids when we started. Going through life, there are things we've all gone through - life's ups and downs. It's not all roses, but those things that we've gone through have made us stronger as band.
Broken, hopeless, headed nowhere
Only motivation for what the dealer's supplying
That rush, that drug, that dope
Those pills, that crumb, that roach
Thinkin' I would never do that, not that drug
and growing up nobody ever does
Until your stuck, lookin' in the mirror like I can't believe what I've become
Swore I was goin' to be someone
And growing up everyone always does
We sell our dreams and our potential
To escape through that buzz
No one wakes up one day and decides they want to become a drug dealer or they want to be a stick-up kid. Those decisions are made after a series of events have happened in one's life.
People try to tell me like that, 'Oh, you shouldn't be proud,' or, 'You're not this,' or, 'You aren't that,' or whatever the hell. I'm just kinda here to say, like, who is anybody else to tell me who I am or what I've gone through or what I haven't gone through?
The mistake made by all previous systems of ethics has been the failure to recognize that life as such is the mysterious value with which they have to deal. All spiritual life meets us within natural life. Reverence for life, therefore, is applied to natural life and spiritual life alike. In the parable of Jesus, the shepherd saves not merely the soul of the lost sheep but the whole animal. The stronger the reverence for natural life, the stronger grows also that for spiritual life.
I used to say, for me, writing was like walking a high wire, and heroin made me forget there was no net. Which is a fancy way of saying dope made me forget how shitty I felt for being on dope.
I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.
I say that I can't make anything up. I think of myself as a collage artist. I'm cutting and pasting memories of my life. And I say, I have to live a life in order to tell a life. I would prefer to tell it because telling you're always in control, you're like God.
I lost my mind at 15. I'd been shown a world where there were no boundaries, where everyone gave me all the power. And I was like, 'This is great!' Then that was gone. But I was like, 'Yeah, but I still want that.' I'd lost my humble, very quiet, introverted sensibilities which I think I definitely had as a kid.
I do a lot of drug and alcohol speaking with people to stop addictions. I'm not a Bible-thumper. I don't preach like that. I tell people that has addictions: "If you want your addiction cured, it begins right here. It begins right here." Jesus Christ is not a genie in a bottle. You got me? Jesus Christ can help you get through anything but even with addiction, he's not going to say 'hocus pocus, your addiction's gone'! You have to say: "I'm done!" It all begins right here in your mind.
Several times in my life I've gone through long periods without sex or any other kind of physical contact. The hunger it produces is deep and low; it's possible to lose track of it, to forget or fail to perceive how it's emptied everything out of you and made the world papery and thin. Touch starved, you brush against existence like a stick against dry leaves. You become insubstantial yourself, a hungry ghost.
Because we are saturated with life, because we are human, our strongest motive is life, humanity; and the stronger the motive back of the line the stronger, and therefore more beautiful, the line will be.
Don't walk through life just playing football. Don't walk through life just being an athlete. Athletics will fade. Character and integrity and really making an impact on someone's life, that's the ultimate vision, that's the ultimate goal - bottom line.
I can say that I am only human and I have made mistakes. I can say that I try to live my life in the most true, honest way that I can. I am not perfect, no one is. No one is harder on me than me. No one can please everyone. No one can live in the past and expect to grow. I have been moving forward and hope that I am not defined by just a few moments in my life but all of the moments that will make up my life.
It's just a matter of, for me, getting my mind where it needs to be. Certainly I've made a lot of adjustments in my life, and I've gone through a lot. A lot.
Life's a game made for everyone and love is the prize. So wake me up when it's all over - when I'm wiser and I'm older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost.
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