A Quote by John Mulaney
All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.
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Money you know you need or want to spend in the next few years is savings. Money you keep handy for an emergency belongs in savings. Money you hope to use soon for a down payment on a house belongs in savings. And all savings belong in a low-risk bank savings account or money market account.
If a lot of money goes into the stock market, it'll push up prices, making money for stock speculators. Then the insiders can decide that it's time to sell out, and the market will plunge.
The underlying strategy of the Fed is to tell people, "Do you want your money to lose value in the bank, or do you want to put it in the stock market?" They're trying to push money into the stock market, into hedge funds, to temporarily bid up prices. Then, all of a sudden, the Fed can raise interest rates, let the stock market prices collapse and the people will lose even more in the stock market than they would have by the negative interest rates in the bank. So it's a pro-Wall Street financial engineering gimmick.
That feeling in the dressing room after you win - nothing comes close to that. You can't get that in any other career. Maybe in the stock market back in the '80s when people were making tons of money, maybe they felt something similar. Maybe. But look at the market now. Nothing gives you that emotion like sports. Nothing. Am I wrong?
Automate your savings so that you have money taken directly from each paycheck and deposited into a 401(k) or other workplace retirement account. If that's not an option, automatically have money transferred out of checking into savings each time you get paid.
Never invest emergency savings in the stock market.
To be honest, I've never invested in the stock market. My grandmother used to warn us against the stock exchange. My grandfather had lost a lot money in the share market. We are a working class family.
My father was a person who always allowed me to do what I wanted but he told me you want to go to a stock market, first get yourself qualified. So, I qualified myself as a chartered accountant and my dad said what do you want to do? I said I want to go to the stock market. He asked what will you do? I said I invest.
Once the brokerage house, rather than the bank, became the locus for American savings, that money would find its way into the stock market, because the broker was someone with a much higher tolerance for risk than the banker.
When you get a checking account, you should have a savings account, and the number for the savings account should be one off of your checking account.
I started LearnVest with a tiny savings account where I paid designers, technologists, and even bartered... Because I started with paying for things myself with my own savings, it sharpened my focus of how to spend money.
We have this culture of financialization. People think they need to make money with their savings rather with their own business. So you end up with dentists who are more traders than dentists. A dentist should drill teeth and use whatever he does in the stock market for entertainment.
People are putting their money into treasuries because they worry that the risk of putting their money into the bond market, the stock market or even the money markets is very high.
I did 75 films. I didn't take a break; I didn't spend my money. I have my savings, so when you're not working for money anymore, then you should find things that are meaningful and not just be like, 'OK, that's another day gone.'
I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money to a colorblind roulette addict than put it in the stock market.
One of the ironies of the stock market is the emphasis on activity. Brokers, using terms such as 'marketability' and 'liquidity,' sing the praises of companies with high share turnover... but investors should understand that what is good for the croupier is not good for the customer. A hyperactive stock market is the pick pocket of enterprise.
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