A Quote by Johnny Carson

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Johnny Carson

Quote Topics

Each Entire Entire World Fruitcake Gift Keep Only Other People Sending World Worst

Quote Author

Johnny Carson
American - Comedian
October 23, 1925 - January 23, 2005

You little fruitcake, you little fruitcake, I said you are a fruitcake.

Pete Stark

Am I a fruitcake? I don't know. Perception is reality, so if I sit here and say, "I'm not a fruitcake, I'm a lemon cake," it doesn't matter. What you see me as in your world is what I am; it doesn't matter what I am - do you know what I mean? To me, I know what my real problems are - and they're certainly not about cake. And that's just the way it is.

Macy Gray

Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

Phyllis Diller

Bring on the fruitcakes, we want a fruitcake for an unlovable seat.

Matthew Parris

There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us.

Jimmy Buffett

My family, as you can probably guess, was more into Christmas cookies and not so much the fruitcake.

Christina Tosi

Fruitcake is like semen, there's a lot of it about but no one wants to swallow it

Oscar Wilde

You're going to set us all on fire, you homicidal feral fruitcake.

Melina Marchetta

Franchot Tone is nuttier than a fruitcake, so don't let the genteel frosting fool you.

Burgess Meredith

I would eat fruitcake if there'd been a nuclear war and I'd run out of canned goods.

Deb Caletti

Political advice is a bit like your average Christmas fruitcake: something everyone gives and no one wants.

Bob Dole

Declare this smite time, extracting precious gems and wholly hours you share to fruitcake a friend so dear.

Bradley Chicho

The joke may be that no one likes fruitcake, but if that were the case, they wouldn't appear on store shelves every holiday season!

Harley Pasternak

Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface.

A. Lee Martinez

the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.