A Quote by Johnny Knoxville
When I used to go into bars people would try and fight me. Women would punch me 10 years ago or put cigarettes out on my arm or my face. But it doesn't seem to happen any more. They show us a lot of love.
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Hear me out. Would you eat a hamburger if there was any chance it could punch you in the face? - How is a hamburger supposed to punch me in the face? Just say that it can. Would you bother? Or would you eat something else?
I used to go into pubs and people would want to pick a fight with me. I would hear a group of girls say: 'Oh look, there's Pat Cash.' And then one of them would come up to me and say, 'You think you're so good,' and throw a drink in my face. That kind of reaction from people was a bit of a shock initially, and you don't ever really get used to it.
A friend of mine had this idea a few years ago. We thought it would be a great way to promote the sport and to put polo in front of a lot more people in an unexpected place: the romance novel. There's a lot of people that care about those kinds of stories, especially women, and it would help people to know what the polo life is all about. It's not just what you see in the newspapers or on Pretty Woman. There's a lot more to it: the time spent in the barn, how much we love the horses, the relationship with the horses and with the family, etc.
Years and years ago, like in 2006, my wife, I didn't have a car, she would drive me to weigh-ins, we would sleep in broken-down motels and I would fight the next day. Just me and her.
One of the great things about the old days of television, 10 years ago, or 15 years ago, was that it was water cooler television. People would communally watch the same hour. People used to tell us all the time, we turn off the phones, we put the kids to bed and that one hour is uninterrupted. Then, the next day at the water cooler, they all talk about it.
I don't think this show would have come to me 10 years ago. It continues to be this wonderful miracle.
I don't think it's ever hard to punch someone in the face who's just punched you in the face. I would say that anyone who thinks they can walk up to someone and punch them in the face without getting punched back is an idiot. At the end of the day, if someone came up here and punched you, trust me, you would fight back. That is just basic survival.
I just would never go audition, and yet I was in very visible places where people would come looking for actors. I say I'm lazy, though I'm sure if I were in therapy for a lot of years, it would turn out to be a lot more than laziness. After awhile, it was, like, too embarrassing for me not to go on auditions. I had to be humiliated into it.
10 years ago, I would've host Saturday Night Live. But to me, the show has declined. For some reason, humor isn't what it was. It just, to me, it's not as funny as it was, not as sharply satirical.
Barboza is up there. He's a scary fight, but I like being scared. And that's a fight that me, as a fan, would want to see. I know how much fans would love something like that. So I'll go out there and try to finish that dude with leg kicks.
Most of the prosecutors I know are good people who are committed to protecting us from those who would prey on us. But these days, I sometimes run into prosecutors who just don't seem to have the character we used to have 20-30 years ago. People need to understand that prosecutors are lawyers, and like my grandmama once told me, a law degree is a license to lie.
We would be a lot safer if the Government would take its money out of science and put it into astrology and the reading of palms. I used to think that science would save us, and science certainly tried. But we can't stand any more tremendous explosions, either for or against democracy.
Most people go to college to get a job, and here I am sitting in class with a job, making exponentially more than whoever's teaching me, you know what I'm saying? At the end of the day, I wanted to finish what I started, and make my mom proud. A lot of people put a lot of hard work and investment to allow me to go to school, and for me not to finish would have been like a slap in the face to my family and those people.
For three months, we kept going into these writing sessions going, 'Man, I just heard this song on the radio, and it told me to slide my sugar shaker over.' If any guy spoke to us the way those country songs spoke to women, it would not be good for that guy. I would probably punch him in the face.
The heartbreak that it might not happen wasn't something that I wanted to face with any more weight. Then, when I got the call to go ahead I never thought for a second as I was approaching it who I would get - that would come later. Again, I think the idea was that I now had the rights to make the movie and I can start writing it but if I have to wait another 10 years before I find an actor that's right for it, I'd be very happy to do that.
When I read out loud in class, it was a joy for everyone else because I would mispronounce things so badly. I used to try to count how many people were in front of me and then work out which paragraph I would have to read out and start trying to learn it. And I would sit there thinking, 'Please let the bell go so that it doesn't get round to me.'
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