A Quote by Johnny Miller
People need to know that when I was interviewed when I played, I would really pat myself on the back when I did well and tell you how good I was playing, but I'd also tell you when I choked or I was playing terrible. I told it like it was.
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Usually I like playing other people. I like finding myself through other characters. But when you do cabaret, you are yourself. I think it's the most fun, and I tell you, if somebody had told me that, I would have done it fifteen years earlier than I did.
My therapist told me I need to learn to love myself. It sounds easy enough, but really, how do you just wake up one day and learn that? It feels like something you should just do involuntarily, like swallowing or blinking, but now I have to work on it. It feels so forced. I mean, I know I went to a good school, and people tell me I'm smart and creative, but I don't KNOW that. I don't know how to make myself feel that.
Like, that was weird in 'Hamlet 2,' because I played myself there, fully myself, but then I realized, 'Oh, I'm not playing myself. I'm some weird version of myself.' So as an actress, you're always playing something, I don't even know who I am, how could I become me? I don't know what that is.
I was just a very emotional player. I wore my emotions on my sleeve. I pretty much told you how I felt. I didn't mince words, so to speak. If I felt bad, I let you know that I felt bad. If I felt you were playing sorry, I told you. If I was playing sorry, I told myself that. I came from an era when losing really hurt. I didn't see anything good about it.
I know my dad would have loved me to have played rugby. He was a No. 8. I started off playing centre and ended up playing at the back of the scrum, No. 8 as well, just picking it up and running with it.
I'm a terrible actor. I would suck in films! The only way I would do well is if I was playing myself, which is what I did in my career.
I have played several characters that are crabby and cranky. I don't know if I'm just not a very well-developed human being or if I don't know myself very well, but I tend to find I can take on elements of the characters that I'm playing. When I was playing a character like Becky Freeley in Miss Guided found that I was insanely positive and happy all the time.
In theater they want to put you on a contract a year in advance and I don't really like that. That's the reason why I became an actor - I like the freelance work. It's interesting, I like not being told what to do still, and I have a job where people tell me exactly what to do, so maybe I don't know myself as well as I want to. I think my last play I did was three years ago.
If you aren't playing well, the game isn't as much fun. When that happens I tell myself just to go out and play as I did when I was a kid.
The men I've played are all respectful and gentlemen towards me. I've never really had a problem. In the past a lot of people would go: 'We're playing a woman.' But now they're thinking: 'We're playing a good player.'
I try to tell a story when I'm playing. I try to make an emotional connection when I'm playing versus before I played just to play. Now there's a sense of purpose of why I play, of how I play. So people can actually feel what I'm saying to them.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her certain things. I would tell her that it’s great to be smart, really smart - that being smart makes you strong. I would tell her that emotions are powerful, so don’t be afraid to show them. I would tell her that some people may judge you on how you look or what you wear - that’s just how it is - but you should keep your focus on what you say and do. I would tell her that she may see the world differently from boys, and that difference is essential and good.
I think the key for us is really letting the stories we feel are best told to kind of dictate where we go. When we find a story we really believe is one that should be told, how do we best tell it and you know what do we need to tell that story most effectively? I think to the good, the universe is such that there are a lot of options, there a lot of opportunities. So that's kind of what's guiding us.
I've played with so many people that I never really noticed that I was playing with so many people until after it was compiled on the Internet. I just kept going. I haven't even heard half the records I've played on, to tell you the truth.
I definitely believe in myself. And I don't need to show that on the outside. I just don't feel like I need to tell people how I feel about myself. I know my skills and I know what I'm comfortable in, and I keep it to myself.
When I was about seventeen, I had a group called the Young Jazz Giants. We played all originals. When we would finish playing, people would be like, 'Oh my God, that was so nice, that was so great.' But Pops would never tell us we were the best. He would give it to us straight, like, 'You're out of tune. You're dropping beats.'
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