The two records are very different. I guess, on the second record, that's more where I was at. Its not that I'm more well-adjusted or anything, it's just that what I wanted to sing about maybe was more the way I wanted to feel.
I just wanted to show people - maybe I'm wrong - that I can still really sing. I can sing better than I ever have before. My intonation is way better, my timing, my phrasing - there's a lot more expression; I feel it's a more lived-in, soulful voice.
I just wanted to make more of a lifestyle record instead of anything else. I wasn't trying to do anything mainstream or nothing like that. I wanted to speak on this time period where I was fed up with a couple things and I had an idea of what I wanted to do.
At the time we were all just very young people who wanted to have fun and do pictures in a different way than the old folks did it - make it all more spontaneous and more alive and more natural.
I think going away and disappearing for a couple of years - or a few years, or whatever - definitely changed the way I look at songwriting. It made me feel more free, it made me feel more like I could just write what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write more observational songs.
Our first two records are a lot quieter and more studio-based. We kind of had this feeling like we wanted to make a more quote-unquote 'rock' record. Then Patrick joined and really brought a new Herculean power to the band.
I don't have this fantasy about marriage anymore. Everyone says it takes hard work. Well, it kind of does -- and I'm much more pragmatic about romance than I used to be. [With Scott] I wanted to see him as a white knight and was crushed whenever anything normal happened. I wanted to be the princess. Now I'm much more willing to see myself as human and flawed, and accept someone -- the whole picture. My life is definitely changing for the better. I couldn't be happier or feel more comfortable with the direction it's going in.
I definitely wanted the second record to be a much more grandiose thing. I wanted to push myself and make a big statement.
When I was coming up in Miami, the music in the city at the time sounded completely different. I loved it, but it just wasn't the type of music I wanted to make. I wanted my wordplay to be more sophisticated. I wanted the sound to be more lush. I wanted my music to sound like who I was and aspired to be - boss.
The further away we got from 9/11, the more I wanted to find some way to recover. I wanted to talk about the more anonymous corners of the city, because I think it's very important that not all of that anger was turned to revenge.
but it wasn't just about my feelings. The more I got to know you, the more I was certain that you'd do whatever it took to provide for your family. That was important to me. You have to understand that back then, a lot of people our age wanted to change the world. Even though it's a noble idea, I knew I wanted something more traditional. I wanted a family like my parents had, and I wanted to concentrate on my little corner of the world. I wanted someone who wanted to marry a wife and a mother, and someone who would respect my choice.
Before the first xx record, I pretty much exclusively listened to electronica. Now, I listen to anything. I think the most inspiring thing is just learning more about more and more different kinds of music and becoming a fan of so many different types and so many different genres.
So more and more black folk tend to be well-adjusted to [Barack] Obama's presidency, but does that mean they're well-adjusted to injustice? Because we don't hear our president talking about the new Jim Crow, the prison-industrial complex.
It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously -- and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition.
That's one of the most exciting things for me about listening to records: It's a moment in time, and the less it's messed with the more powerful it is. I wanted at least one song on the record to be just completely about the moment.
I never have changed in my taste, and the things that I love, and the way that I act, and all that. I never wanted to change, I just wanted to be successful, and be able to do more things for more people, and for myself as well.
To become a person does not necessarily mean to be well adjusted, well adapted, approved of by others. It means to become who you are. We are meant to become more eccentric, more peculiar, more odd. We are not meant just to fit in. We are here to be different. We are here to be the individual.