A Quote by Jon Stewart

Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work. — © Jon Stewart
Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.
I'm proud to be an American, no matter what. But Amercian culture is stale, you know wha I'm saying ? We keep regurgitating the same sh*t. And it ain't exciting. I seen it from when I was a kid watching the whole sh*t. The sh*t was exciting to me.
The cool thing too, as you get older, you get way better at identifying who's an ally and who isn't. And who has good, positive, "let's make all this sh*t better and let's try to have fun and fix sh*t" people as opposed to "let's sit around and b*tch and berate" people.
Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'.... 'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.
You can't rewrite nothing, but you can rewrite 90 pages of sh*t. Now you've got your sh*t on the page, you can go work.
...stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when if feels like all you're managing is to shovel sh*t from a sitting position.
He’sh mad?’ ‘Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money.’ ‘Ah, then he can’t be mad. I’ve been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he’sh just ecshentric.
Sometimes you just gotta let sh-t go and say 'to hell with it' and move on.
But vegetarians can eat this...Because intestines aren't even meat, Liz. They're just sh$*.
'Dad, Dad, I'm getting married.' 'Sh-sh, don't say it. Nothing, nothing. Don't do anything.' So he honestly - 'cause he was taught don't celebrate - they'll take it away from you. And his parents were taught that, and his parents and parents' parents. Because if you did celebrate, and you were visible, it could be very, very dangerous.
My very first professional job was with a theatre company in 1965 and the first job they gave me was literally shovelling sh*t. I was an assistant stage manager and they told me to clear out the prop store. I opened it up and no-one had been in there for 25 years and it was inches deep in rat sh*t. So before I could get anywhere I had to clear it up. I thought, 'All these years of training, the best drama school in the world, and this is what I'm doing.'
Because we're old as sh*t. What do you want?
Motocross might be more dangerous because it's hard to tame the machine sometimes. Wrestling, you're dealing with yourself and your own body, but when you're trying to tame the machine, that sh*t can be kind of hard sometimes.
The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea.' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier.'
Looking for a gem, we are sometimes dumb enough to try to hold on to a lump of coal, convinced that it will turn into a diamond in our lifetime... but all it does it get sh*t all over you until you burn it and use the energy for something else.
I have to be conscious of what I'm sayin' because people are gonna come at me about this sh*t.
Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
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