A Quote by Jon Stewart

I masturbate. A lot. And yet, I don't floss because it's too much of a hassle. Ten seconds of joy over a lifetime of tooth decay, that's what I've chosen. — © Jon Stewart
I masturbate. A lot. And yet, I don't floss because it's too much of a hassle. Ten seconds of joy over a lifetime of tooth decay, that's what I've chosen.
Ten seconds on the lips and a lifetime on the hips.
A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.
For 24 years of my adult life, by choice I weighed well over 200 pounds. I say 'by choice' because I have never 'accidentally' eaten anything, so when I choose to eat too much, I have chosen to weigh too much.
Would I rather be dental floss or a toothbrush? is that a question? Um, I would actually rather be floss, I think, if I was using me. Because I don't really floss enough.
If this glorious birth to death hassle is the only hassle we are ever to have ..if our grand exhilarating fight of life is such a tragically short little scrap anyway,compared to the eons of rounds before and after-then why should one want to relinquish even a few precious seconds of it?
I was never a Lime Wire guy because it's too much hassle to find the song.
A lot of times I'll be playing roles for which I'm too long in the tooth, but people who go see musicals don't seem to worry too much about that.
All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are....Ten seconds of silence.
I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
One time I was performing so hard that I chipped my tooth on the microphone. For the rest of the show I was afraid to smile because I wasn't sure how much of my tooth was gone.
The lives of most men are patchwork quilts. Or at best one matching outfit with a closet and laundry bag full of incongruous accumulations. A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.
....You should keep dental floss on you at all times; when your eyesight goes, quit driving; don't keep too many secrets, eventually they'll eat away at you. But the most valuable lesson he taught me was this: Every day we get older, and some of us get wiser, but there's no end to our evolution. We are all a mess of contradictions; some of our traits work for us, some against us. And this is what I figured out on my own: Over the course of a lifetime, people change, but not as much as you'd think. Nobody really grows up.
On either side in Time, there's nothing similar to Now, only memories or imaginings . The place you were ten seconds ago has vanished, and what is the place ten seconds ahead? There is nothing there. It's very odd.
Guns are far too accessible and too readily available. There are over 200 million guns in our society - and that's just the legal ones, the ones we know about. Every ten seconds, another gun is produced. And every fourteen minutes, some person in America dies from gun-inflicted action.
We made too many expensive movies trying to offset the loss of the 'LOTR' income. There was a lot of pressure to re-create that franchise, which turned out to be unhealthy for us, because it's such a once-in-a-lifetime success. It would be like trying to re-create 'Avatar' over and over again.
To a sprinter, the hundred-yard dash is over in three seconds, not nine or ten.
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