A Quote by Jon Stewart

A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, "When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off."

Jon Stewart

Quote Topics

Any Back Believe Come Days Did Dies Down Down To Earth Earth Eggs Forever Get Go Guy Heaven Hide Him How Jesus Later Off Problem Salvation See Sins Takes Thing Three Whole Your

Quote Author

Jon Stewart
American - Entertainer
Born: November 28, 1962

Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.

Denis Leary

Eggs Benedict is genius. It's eggs covered in eggs. I mean, come on, that person should be the president.

Wylie Dufresne

When my mother would make me sandwiches for school - zucchini and eggs, pepper and eggs, everything was with eggs - the oil would drip out of the bag. She didn't care if I lost the sandwich - she wanted that brown bag back. She used to give me artichoke sandwiches. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to sit in the schoolyard eating an artichoke with a piece of bread. A lot of kids didn't know what it was, they'd say, Look at that guy eating flowers!

Pat Cooper

So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled all the time and eggs came out of the back of them.

Mark Forsyth

Hollandaise, I would like to pour over my head and just rub all over myself. Eggs Benedict is genius. It's eggs covered in eggs.

Wylie Dufresne

It's so fun for kids to dye eggs. But on Holy Thursday, we make a special batch of dyed eggs. Instead of pastel, the eggs we dye on Holy Thursday are dyed only red to symbolize the blood of Jesus.

Rachel Campos-Duffy

My biggest faults is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. It's like I was raising chickens inside me. The chickens lay eggs and the eggs hatch into other chickens, which then lay eggs. Is this any way to live a life? What with all these faults I've got going, I have to wonder. Sure, I get by. But in the end, that's not the question, is it?

Haruki Murakami

Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.

Billy Crystal

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

Caroline Rhea

I have an amino acid missing that you can only get from certain kinds of eggs. So, I've been eating a few eggs.

Bryce Dallas Howard

Put all your eggs in one basket... the handle's going to break. Then all you've got is scrambled eggs.

Nora Roberts

I wouldn't change anything about my past, because it's made me who I am today. You have to remember: You need to crack some eggs to make omelettes. And I did crack some eggs.

Herschel Walker

I've been learning how to soft-scramble eggs. And once you've had an amazing soft-scrambled egg, you cannot go back. It takes a little bit more work, but they're really great.

Alexis Ohanian

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

Robert Benchley

My whole thing is if you want to do it, then do it. Kobe told me this, but he said, 'You don't wanna lay all your eggs in one basket, but you wanna lay all your eggs in one basket.' If you wanna do something and be great at it, that's what you're going to have to specialize in. Just take it and run.