A Quote by Jon Stewart

If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, 'That's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?' But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say, 'Bad monkey.'
I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.
It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
Let's do it. Monkeys are always funny. You pretty much can't go wrong with a monkey, right? Hi paused. Well unless that monkey wants you dead, or does needle drugs or something. Then it's wrong, and a bad monkey.
Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.
Im thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, Why stop at one? I don't like being limited in that way. Therefore, I'm considering a platton of monkeys, so that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to these monkeys throwing feces around.
My dream pet? I like a couple of them, man: monkey, I love dogs. See, tigers, I don't know - I can't be playing with something like that. A monkey, I can handle it. A dog, yeah; I would get a monkey.
Charles Darwin wrote a famous book in 18 [gibberish]. And that book was an interesting book, cuz it was called "Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You".
When you are brought up in a zoo, you know what's going on in the monkey house. You see a couple of monkeys loose and one is President and one is Vice President, you know it's trouble. Monkeys make trouble.
Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.
I became fascinated with the concept of speak no, see no, hear no evil. And - and the actual depiction of three wise monkeys. And I began collecting it over the years. And I kind of figured that I might be the - the fourth monkey, the feel no evil monkey.
I was lifelong Democrat just because, well, you know, monkey-see, monkey-do. I was just doing everything that my family was doing.
It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don't know what it's like any more to be anonymous.
There are looks that I see on other people that I think would look horrible on me, but I think if somebody has the courage to be really daring and try something outlandish, then more power to them. Thats just encouraging and inspiring.
There are looks that I see on other people that I think would look horrible on me, but I think if somebody has the courage to be really daring and try something outlandish, then more power to them. That's just encouraging and inspiring.
With the tiger you're always on edge, and you always have to keep your distance. The monkey is far less threatening so you're more relaxed around the monkey, and I think that's actually hazardous.
Like many actors, I started off as a monkey. My first job ever was as an extra in Tim Burton's 'Planet of the Apes.' I'm the tiny little monkey in the background. I met Rick Baker doing that - then, because of my size and the fact I was older than 18, he figured I could double Daveigh Chase in 'The Ring.'
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