A Quote by Jon Stewart
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
Related Quotes
A prime example of 'turning the other cheek' would be the United States allowing Canada to exist as a country. Sure, we could take over Canada with ease. We'd certainly benefit from conquering a country rich in natural resources and never-ending comedic talent. Instead, we decide to make friends and treat them with the utmost respect.
I've gotten so many messages I could even get emotional thinking about it, but I've gotten so many messages from young kids all over the country that my story's resonated with them.
When I think about what makes Canada great, fresh water is right at the top of the list. We have over two million lakes in this country and more than enough people who are willing to mess with them. My Canada includes weird scientists who are devoted to keeping our water clean. When we stand up and we sing O Canada, we pledge to stand on guard for thee. If that doesn't include our water, we might as well sit down and give up.
Toronto I've worked in so many times so you kind of just know every store, every hotel, every - it's really close to New York so it's awesome for my children so if I have to go home for two days it doesn't take very much time. Except for Air Canada. Air Canada is the worst part.
"Somehow over the years people have gotten the impression that Wal-Mart was...just this great idea that turned into an overnight success. But...it was an outgrowth of everything we'd been doing since [1945]...And like most overnight successes, it was about twenty years in the making."
Canada has become trouble recently ... It's always the worst Americans who go there ... We could have taken them over so easy. But I only want the western part, with the ski areas, the cowboys, and the right wingers. They're the only good parts of Canada.
Uranium mining in northern Canada has left over 120 million tons of radioactive waste. This amount represents enough material to cover the Trans-Canada Highway two meters deep across the country. Present production of uranium waste from Saskatchewan alone occurs at the rate of over 1 million tons annually. Since 1975, hospitalization for cancer, birth defects and circulatory illnesses in that area have increased dramatically - between 123 and 600 percent in that region.
We French-Canadians belong to one country, Canada: Canada is for us the whole world: but the English-Canadians have two countries, one here and one across the sea.
That wasn't because of money, it was because I had a job for the next two days and wanted to work. So I faked a test. That was over two years ago. Why has there been no issue about it since then?
It is hard to find a country friendlier to Israel than Canada these days. No other country in the world has demonstrated such a full understanding of us.
I've always believed in myself, and it's such a long competition over two days, you can't worry about what anyone else is doing.
When you're on the road, it gets a bit crazy. I've been on the road for about two weeks, and squeezed about 11 shows into 14 days. It's funny, traveling cross country isn't what kills ya - it's driving the two hours to the one-nighters and back. That's what gets exhausting, it gets to the point where seeing your kids is the relief.
I work seven days a week and I work about 12 hours a day, from the beginning of September to about the end of May; the school year. I take two days off, Christmas and New Year's, Thanksgiving sometimes - two and a half. And the result is that I bonded myself to my desk.
If it's just the voice, then you can only do jokes. It's not really even about the impression so much. It's about the take and what you do with the person. I try to get a character across with the impression.
Competitions last about 10 days or two weeks. I was homeschooled, so in this way I could train on a daily basis for many hours. And then I was traveling all over the world.
The competition has improved tremendously. In 2003, I could teach a guy how to play poker in an hour and he could win some money. Today, it would take days. The game has gotten so much tougher. So I will spend my time with my family and play when I can.
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