A Quote by Jonathan Van Ness

I want to show straight men and gay men alike that self-care and grooming isn't mutually exclusive with, like, femininity or masculinity. — © Jonathan Van Ness
I want to show straight men and gay men alike that self-care and grooming isn't mutually exclusive with, like, femininity or masculinity.
First, it was a big deal for girls to dress more like guys. Then it was a big deal for straight men to be metereosexuals and care about their appearance in the way that a gay man would. Now we have to take it a step further - men should be able to not wear men's clothes if they don't want to.
I recognised that femininity and strength are not mutually exclusive, and I think that femininity has often been equated with weakness, but we know it's not.
My dad's a beautiful man, but like a lot of Mexican men, or men in general, a lot of men have a problem with the balance of masculinity and femininity - intuition and compassion and tenderness - and get overboard with the macho thing. It took him a while to become more, I would say, conscious, evolved.
Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'
With each of the men I dated, everything ran its natural course, whether it worked out or not. I never felt burnt by any of them. I don't feel resentful. I don't want those years back. I'm not one of those women who thinks men are bastards. I love men: straight men, gay men. I've always had men close to me, from the time I was a child.
...even if gay marriage were legalized there would still be gay men who didn't want to marry, gay men no other gay men would want to marry, and gay men who didn't want to leave the priesthood in order to marry.
... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that we don't raise boys to be men, we raise them not be women (or gay men). We teach boys that girls and women are "less than" and that leads to violence by some and silence by many. It's important for men to stand up to not only stop men's violence against women but, to teach young men a broader definition of masculinity that includes being empathetic, loving and non-violent.
Masculinity cannot exist without femininity. On its own, masculinity has no meaning, because it is but one half of a set of power relations. Masculinity pertains to male dominance as femininity pertains to female subordination.
First of all, feminism is not man-hating, not man-berating. It is not saying we are better. It is just saying we want the same opportunities, and we want to be able to make decisions on our own without being judged for them. We want the same freedom men have enjoyed over the years, so I think that's the place where we are. And it's completely not mutually exclusive at all for how you want to look, how you take care of yourself, how you want to be, what you want to look like.
It would be so helpful for the straight community to see men in powerful positions coming out and saying "I'm gay" so they don't have these preconceived notions that all gay men are smarmy idiots living on the street or whatever it is people think of gay men. I think it would be really helpful and productive.
My sexuality is straight transvestite or male lesbian. It seems we are beyond the idea that I am gay and hiding it. If I had to describe how I feel in my head, I'd say I'm a complete boy plus half a girl. I don't seem to have the sixth sense that women have or their stronger senses of taste and smell. Gay men can also have it but straight men don't.
As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls and old gay men together - there's a safety. They make a shield from all of the bad things they've experienced in the world. They make a home together. There are no songs about that. I don't know if you remember, but there was a show a long time ago called 'Love, Sidney.'
Yes, it's called 'Queer Eye' and there are five gay men on it, but we're also tackling real issues. The conversations we have on our show would be just as valid if they swapped us out with straight guys. What we do is important, not just because we're a niche gay show.
You look hot. The straight men will want you, the gay men will want beauty tips, and the women will want to scratch your eyes out. If that isn't the stuff of fairy tales, I don't know what is.
For me, masculinity is about control, and femininity is more of an embrace, the art of listening. It's very inspiring to explore the shadows of masculinity and femininity, and the tensions between both, and the place of women in the world right now.
So the fact that a lot of straight men have gone on to play iconic gay roles and to be lauded for that is fantastic, that that story is being told. But wouldn't it be brilliant to see gay men play their own experience?
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